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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?


To: Walter Prager who wrote (11577)9/17/1999 3:38:00 PM
From: Bilbo Baggins  Read Replies (1) | Respond to of 62555
 
A man walks into a bar with an ostrich behind him, and as he sits, a small
cat jumps up on the stool beside him.The bartender comes over, and asks
for their order.
The man says, "I'll have a beer" and turns to the ostrich. "What's
yours?"
"I'll have a beer too" says the ostrich.
The cat says "I'll have a half beer, but I'm not paying for it."
The bartender pours the beer and says "That will be $3.40 please," and
the man reaches into his pocket and pulls out exact change for payment.
The next day, the man, ostrich and cat come again, and the man says "I'll

have a beer," and the ostrich says "I'll have the same", and the cat says

"I'll have a half glass of beer but I'm not paying for it". Once again
the

man reaches into his pocket and pays with exact change.
This becomes a routine until, late one evening, the trio enter again.
"The usual?" asks the bartender.
"Well, it's close to last call, so I'll have a large scotch" says the man",
"I'll have a small scotch but I'm not paying for it" says the cat.
"That will be $7.20" says the bartender. Once again the man pulls exact
change out of his pocket and places it on the bar. The bartender can't
hold back his curiosity any longer.
"Excuse me sir. How do you manage to always come up with the exact change

out of your pocket every time?"
"Well," says the man, "Several years ago I was cleaning the attic and
found an old lamp. When I rubbed it a Genie appeared and offered me two
wishes. My first wish was that if I ever had to pay for anything, I just

put my hand in my pocket, and the right amount of money will always be
there."
That's brilliant!" says the bartender. "Most people would wish for a
million dollars or something, but you'll always be as rich as you want
for as long as you live!"
"That's right! Whether it's a gallon of milk or a Rolls Royce, the exact

money is always there." says the man.
The bartender asks "One other thing, sir, what's with the ostrich and the

cat?"
The man replies "My second wish was for a chick with long legs and a
tight pussy"