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Pastimes : Don't Ask Rambi -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Gauguin who wrote (38416)	9/22/1999 3:09:00 PM
From: Jacques Chitte	Read Replies (2) \| Respond to of 71178

Who was the guy who first looked at a cow and said, "I think I'll drink whatever comes out of these things when I squeeze 'em!"? "Calvin and Hobbes" by Bill Watterson There exists no politician in India daring enough to attempt to explain to the masses that cows can be eaten. Indira Gandhi (1917-1984) A lady came up to me on the street and pointed at my suede jacket. "You know a cow was murdered for that jacket?" she sneered. I replied in a psychotic tone, "I didn't know there were any witnesses. Now I'll have to kill you too." Jake Johansen The cow, the old cow, she is dead; It sleeps well the horned head: We poor lads, 'tis our turn now To hear such tunes as killed the cow. Pretty friendship 'tis to rhyme Your friends to death before their time. Moping, melancholy mad: Come, pipe a tune to dance to, lad." A. E. Housman (1859-1936) They also keep a horned cow as proud as any queen; but music turns her head like ale, and makes her wave her tufted tail and dance upon the green. J. R. R. Tolkien (1892-1973), The Lord of The Rings. A purple cow is a confirming instance of the hypothesis that all crows are black. Hempel's Paradox I never saw a Purple Cow, I never hope to see one; But I can tell you anyhow, I'd rather see than be one!" Gelett Burgess (1866-1951), "The Purple Cow" (1895) Ah, yes! I wrote the 'Purple Cow'-- I'm sorry now I wrote it! But I can tell you anyhow I'll kill you if you quote it! Gelett Burgess (1866-1951), "CONFESSION" "Cinq Ans Apres" (1900) I've never seen a purple cow I never hope to see one But from the milk we're getting now There certainly must be one Ogden Nash (1902-1971)

To: Gauguin who wrote (38416)	9/22/1999 4:12:00 PM
From: Crocodile	Read Replies (2) \| Respond to of 71178

Sometimes I think it's only good sense to be a little phobic... Seems to me that a lot of phobias have legitimate grounds. Probably nature's way of trying to let you know what something isn't quite as it should be... To illustrate this point, I'm going to have to go back a few years.... zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzttttttttttttttt... On this day, I had arrived early for a noon class on the 4th floor of a 20 story building. My prof, also arriving early, asked if I'd come with him to bring a TV and a VCR down from an AV lab which was located on the 18th floor. As I was the only person in the room at the time, I felt somewhat obliged to assist him. I had considered saying, "Nope, no way Jose... I don't do elevators", but then (somewhat foolishly) decided... "Uhm, I think I can handle this". Well, away we go... up in the elevator... no sweat... it's pretty empty and it doesn't stop at any floor. We arrived at the AV lab and were given a rather absurdly huge TV which was mounted on an enormous and VERY HEAVY cart. Slowly we managed to push the Mega-TV to the elevator and get on board going down. Things were going OK for a couple of floors, then the elevator stopped to let on a couple of people... then stopped again for another couple of people...for you see, it was now lunch time and everybody wanted to go down at the same time. After a couple of more stops the elevator was, beyond any doubt whatsoever, completely filled up...with me in the back corner...doing my best not to look too cowardly as I cringed behind the TV cart. I believe I was doing a rather admirable job of looking unconcerned until the point at which we arrived at yet another floor and two or three more people began pushing themselves into the already packed elevator. I cursed a little under my breath and turned to face the wall...imagining myself in any place other than a sardine can suspended by some poopy cables 12 floors above the earth. Well, being a typical machine with a very practical mind... the elevator refused to close its doors and sat there making shuddering noises and motions while moving down a couple of inches...then it just waited... no doubt with the mistaken belief that its cargo of rocket scientists would soon realize that there was an "overloading problem". But, it soon became apparent that this rather obvious problem went completely unnoticed as a couple of the most brilliant minds on board began sharply hitting the "Close Door" and "Down" buttons... trying to coerce the elevator to break its "load limit" rules... Rules which were clearly posted on the wall for all to see... "Capacity 10 persons"... and NOT "Capacity 12 persons and one VERY HEAVY cart with a MEGA-TV!!". No... unfortunately, it suddenly occurred to me that this elevator was not filled with rocket scientists, but with a herd of mindless cattle on their way to a slaughterhouse... one where cattle were executed by being dropped a 100 feet to their death... much as the buffalo and other animals were killed by being driven over cliffs or by falling into pits. All at once, the elevator gave yet another hard shudder and dropped a half a foot... but even yet, not a single steer would depart from the overcrowded cattle car of death. Obviously I was doomed to die, cowering in the corner, trapped behind a MEGA-TV and a dozen mindless beasts who were intent on getting to the cafeteria ahead of the rest of the herd. Then, like the roll of thunder, a voice rang out over the milling herd... "SOME OF YOU GET OUT!!! CAN'T YOU SEE THAT THIS ELEVATOR IS OVERLOADED AND PROBABLY ABOUT TO SNAP OFF OF ITS CABLES AND CRASH TO EARTH IN A FEW MORE SECONDS!!!" Interesting... I don't even think anyone turned to see who uttered these words. Perhaps they thought it was the TV, or maybe they thought it was the elevator, or maybe they thought it was some angry Elevator God... but within seconds, my prof and I were standing in elevator... all alone... with our big TV cart...the rest of the brainless horde having leaped from the elevator to the safety of the 12th floor hallway. Without further ado, we proceeded on our journey to the 4th floor... with my prof quietly standing beside me, gazing stony-faced at the floor numbers as they flashed by above the elevator door... Feeling that some explanation was in order for my sudden vociferous outburst, I quietly explained, "I suffer slightly from agoraphobia...." With just the faintest trace of a smile my prof replied... "Ahhh...so I gathered..." ;-}>

To: Gauguin who wrote (38416)	9/22/1999 5:55:00 PM
From: Ilaine	Read Replies (3) \| Respond to of 71178

If you do find the list of phobias, could you please tell me the name for the panicky terror I feel when I walk through a golden orb spider web strung between the trees, and feel the enormous spider struggling against me and her net, trying to run away from me as fast as I am trying to run away from her?