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Pastimes : Happy Hour: A thread for not so intelligent discussions -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Barney who wrote (1724)	10/1/1999 11:15:00 AM
From: Susie924	Respond to of 2380

> GRIN AND BEAR IT > > >In the middle of a forest, there was a hunter who was suddenly >confronted with a huge, mean bear. Full of fear, his attempt >to shoot the bear was unsuccessful. He turned away and started >to run as fast as he could. Finally, he ended up at the edge >of a very steep cliff. His hopes were dim. But, he got on his >knees, opened his arms and said, "My God! Please give this bear >some religion!" > >Then, there was a lightning bolt in the air and the bear stopped >a few feet short of the hunter. The bear had a puzzled look for >a moment, and then looked up into the air and said, "My God! >Thank you for the food I am about to receive..." >

To: Barney who wrote (1724)	10/1/1999 2:17:00 PM
From: Susie924	Respond to of 2380

A woman hired a contractor to repaint the interior of her house. The woman walked the man through the second floor of her home and told him what colors she wanted for each room. As they walked through the first room, the woman said, "I think I would like this room in a cream color." The contractor wrote on his clipboard, walked to the window, opened it and yelled out, "Green side up!" He then closed the window and continued following the woman to the next room. The woman looked confused, but proceeded with her tour. "In this room, I was thinking of an off blue." Again, the contractor wrote this down, went to the window, opened it and yelled out, "Green side up!" This baffled the woman, but she was hesitant to say anything. In the next room, the woman said she would like it painted in a light rose color. And once more, the contractor opened the window and yelled, "Green side up!" Struck with curiosity, the woman mustered up the nerve to ask, "Why do you keep yelling 'Green side up' out my window every time I tell you the color I would like the room?" The contractor replied, "Because I have a crew of blondes laying sod across the street."

To: Barney who wrote (1724)	10/5/1999 7:57:00 AM
From: Susie924	Read Replies (7) \| Respond to of 2380

EMBEZZLEMENT A Mafia Godfather, accompanied by his attorney, walks into a room to meet with his former accountant. The Godfather asks the accountant, "Where is the 3 million bucks you embezzled from me?" The accountant does not answer. The Godfather asks again, "Where is the 3 million bucks you embezzled from me?" The attorney interrupts, "Sir, the man is a deaf mute and cannot understand you, but I can interpret for you." The Godfather says, "Well ask him where my damm money is!" The attorney, using sign language, asks the accountant where the 3 million dollars is. The accountant signs back, "I don't know what you are talking about." The attorney interprets to the Godfather, "He doesn't know what you are talking about." The Godfather pulls out a 9 millimeter pistol, puts it to the temple of the accountant, cocks the trigger and says, "Ask him again where my damn money is!" The attorney signs to the accountant, "He wants to know where it is!" The accountant signs back, "OK! OK! OK! The money is hidden in a brown suitcase behind the shed in my backyard!" The Godfather says, "Well....what did he say?" The attorney interprets to the Godfather, "He says...go to hell... ...that you don't have the guts to pull the trigger."