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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: SIer formerly known as Joe B. who wrote (11804)	10/1/1999 12:28:00 PM
From: Len	Read Replies (2) \| Respond to of 62551

You should have used another last name for that joke. Could NEVER happen with a Schwartz!! The stereotype is true!!<ggg> Len

To: SIer formerly known as Joe B. who wrote (11804)	10/3/1999 8:02:00 PM
From: John Messbauer	Respond to of 62551

Once upon a time there was a sperm named Martin who lived inside a famous movie actor. Martin was a very healthy sperm. He'd do push-ups and somersaults and limber himself up all the time, while the other sperm just lay around on their fat asses not doing a thing. One day, one of them became curious enough to ask Martin why he exercised all day. Martin said, "Look, pal, only one sperm gets a woman pregnant and when the right time comes, I am going to be that one." A few days later, they all felt themselves getting hotter and hotter, and they knew that it was getting to be their time to go. They were released abruptly and, sure enough, there was Martin swimming far ahead of all the others. All of a sudden, Martin stopped, turned around, and began to swim back with all his might. "Go back! Go back!" he screamed."It's a blow job!" ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Harvey pulled over the car by the side of the road and showed Brian where he'd first had sex. "It was right down there by that tree. I remember the day plainly. It was a warm summer day. She and I were so much in love. We walked down to the tree and made love for hours," Harvey recalled. "That sounds wonderful," said Brian. "Yes. It was ok until I looked up and noticed her mother was standing right there watching us." "Oh my God!!! What did her mother say when she saw you making love to her daughter?" "Baaaaaaa." ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ A man went to the doctor complaining of insomnia. The doctor gave him a thorough examination, found absolutely nothing physically wrong with him, and then told him, "Listen, if you ever expect to cure your insomnia, you just have to stop taking your troubles to bed with you." "I know" said the man, "but I can't. My wife refuses to sleep alone."