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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Sarkie who wrote (11821)	10/3/1999 3:16:00 PM
From: Susan G	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62553

TEE SHIRTS & slogans thereon One good thing about Alzheimer's is you get to meet new people every day. POLICE STATION TOILET STOLEN Cops have nothing to go on. Schizophrenia beats being alone. If at first you don't succeed, redefine success. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you. You have the capacity to learn from your mistakes. You will learn a lot today. A thing not worth doing isn't worth doing well. Heck is where people go who don't believe in gosh. Time is just nature's way to keep everything from happening at once. Hard work never killed anyone, but why chance it? All true wisdom is found on T-shirts. Strip Mining Prevents Forest Fires I don't have a solution; but I do admire the problem. I think sex is better than logic, but I can't prove it. A PICTURE IS WORTH A THOUSAND WORDS But it uses up a thousand times the memory The Meek shall inherit the earth..... after we're through with it. If a thing is worth doing it would have been done already Two can live as cheaply as one... for half as long. HAM AND EGGS A day's work for a chicken; A lifetime commitment for a pig. Lord, If I can't be skinny, please let all my friends be fat. Good Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die. THE BUCK DOESN'T EVEN SLOW DOWN HERE - So keep on going. Confession is good for the soul, but bad for your career. How much can I get away with and still go to heaven? Sometimes too much to drink isn't enough. It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere. WELCOME TO UTAH Set your watch back 20 years. Don't get married. Find a woman you hate and buy her a house. It's a lot easier on you. Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home. A closed mouth gathers no foot. The trouble with life is there's no background music. I was only looking at your nametag... honest! When blondes have more fun do they know it? Money isn't everything, but it sure keeps the kids in touch. What happens if you get scared half to death twice? Losing a husband can be hard. In my case it was almost impossible. We have enough youth. How about a fountain of "Smart"? Suicidal Twin Kills Sister By Mistake! Two rights do not make a wrong. They make an airplane. Two wrongs do not make a right, but three lefts do. MY WILD OATS HAVE TURNED TO SHREDDED WHEAT Is reading in the bathroom considered Multi-Tasking?