Silicon Investor (SI) -- The First Internet Community

STOCKTALK

We've detected that you're using an ad content blocking browser plug-in or feature. Ads provide a critical source of revenue to the continued operation of Silicon Investor. We ask that you disable ad blocking while on Silicon Investor in the best interests of our community. If you are not using an ad blocker but are still receiving this message, make sure your browser's tracking protection is set to the 'standard' level.

Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Calvin Scott who wrote (11856)	10/5/1999 12:19:00 PM
From: Ian@SI	Respond to of 62574

May be a repeat, but it gave me numerous belly laughs. Enjoy, Ian. ++++++++++ > > The Washington Post recently had a contest for readers in which they > > were asked to supply possible alternate meanings for various words. > > The following were some of the winning entries .. > > > > Abdicate--v., to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach. > > > > Carcinoma--n., a valley in California, notable for its heavy smog. > > > > Esplanade--v., to attempt an explanation while drunk. > > > > Willy-nilly--adj., impotent. > > > > Flabbergasted--adj., appalled over how much weight you have > > gained. > > > > Negligent--adj., describes a condition in which you > > absentmindedly answer the door in your nightie. > > > > Lymph--v., to walk with a lisp. > > > > Gargoyle--n., an olive-flavored mouthwash. > > > > Bustard--n., a very rude Metrobus driver. > > > > Coffee--n., a person who is coughed upon. > > > > Flatulence--n., the emergency vehicle that picks you up after > > you are run over by a steamroller. > > > > Balderdash--n., a rapidly receding hairline. > > > > Testicle--n., a humorous question on an exam. > > > > Semantics--n., pranks conducted by young men studying for the > > priesthood, including such things as gluing the pages of the > > priest's prayer book together just before vespers. > > > > Rectitude--n., the formal, dignified demeanor assumed by a > > proctologist immediately before he examines you. > > > > Marionettes--n., residents of Washington who have been jerked > > around by Mayor Barry. > > > > Oyster--n., a person who sprinkles his conversation with > > Yiddish expressions. > > > > Circumvent--n., the opening in the front of boxer shorts