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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: gouldian who wrote (11894)	10/9/1999 9:48:00 AM
From: jERRY Ö¿Ö	Respond to of 62551

------------------------------------------------------------------------- CULTURAL AMBASSADOR: A 21-year-old Welsh engineering student is recovering in a Cape Town, South Africa, hospital. The unnamed man ("He has requested that we do not give out any further information," a hospital spokeswoman says) was returning from a sightseeing trip to Stellenbosch when he got the idea to "moon" drivers on the highway out the back of the bus he was riding. He dropped his pants and pressed his buttocks against the back window. The window, which is also an emergency exit, swung right open. He tumbled out, landing on the highway with his trousers around his ankles, and skidded along the highway in front of astonished motorists. He was listed in serious condition with "severe abrasions and blood loss," but is expected to recover. (Reuters) ...From his physical injuries, maybe.

To: gouldian who wrote (11894)	10/9/1999 10:03:00 AM
From: ed zydek	Read Replies (2) \| Respond to of 62551

A guy comes home from work one day and sees his pet pitbull in the neighbor's back yard with the neighbor's pet rabbit firmly clenched in it's jaws.The rabbit is covered in blood and mud and is quite dead. Oh no, I don't need this kind of grief. The neighbor's kids adored little Fluffy. How am I gonna explain this? Then he has an idea. Noticing that nobody was home next door, he grabs the rabbit and sneaks it back to his house. He throws it in the bathtub and gives it a thorough cleaning, then blow dries and combs the animal. Fluffy now looks pretty good. The blood and mud is completely cleaned off and the rabbits thick fur hides the bite marks well. He then sneaks the animal next door and carefully places it in it's cage. Hopefully everyone will think Fluffy died of natural causes. A few days go by before the two neighbors see each other and have a casual conversation which eventually turns to the topic of Fluffy. - I haven't seen Fluffy around lately. What's up? - Oh, I came home one day and found the animal dead in it's cage. It must have died of natural causes. Funny thing though; after we buried him, someone dug him up, cleaned him up and stuck him back in his cage. I still can't figure that one out.

To: gouldian who wrote (11894)	10/10/1999 9:36:00 PM
From: John Messbauer	Respond to of 62551

A gay couple is driving along one afternoon, and while stopped at a stop sign, they are rear ended by a big semi. Furious, the guy in the passenger seat throws his purse on the seat, gets out of the car, goes back to the truck and starts banging on the door. The truck driver opens the door and the gay guy, standing there with his hands on his hips, says, "I'm gonna sue your ass, Buddy!" The truck driver, being a truck driver, laughs and says, "Suck my dick!" The gay guy stands there for a second, then his eyes get real big andhis face just lights up. He runs back to the car, and says excitedly to his lover, "You won't believe it, he wants to settle out of court!" ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Two Italians, Luigi and Antonio, met on the street."Hey, Antonio," said Luigi. "Where you been for the past two weeks? No one seen you around." "Donna talka to me, Luigi," replied Antonio. "I been inna da jail." "Jail!" exclaimed Luigi. "What for you been in jail?" "Wella, Luigi," Antonio said, "I was lying onna da beach, and the cops come, arresta me and throw me ina jail" "But dey donna throw you in jail just for lying onna da beach!", Luigi countered. "Yeah, but dissa beach was ascreamin' and akickin' and ayellin'." ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ An older women said, " I have found at my age going bra-less pulls all the wrinkles out of my face".