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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: John Carragher who wrote (11984)	10/14/1999 5:41:00 PM
From: John Carragher	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62549

Sitting on the side of the highway waiting to catch speeding drivers, a State Trooper sees a car puttering along at 22 m.p.h. He thinks to himself, "This driver is just as dangerous as a speeder!" So he turns on his lights and pulls the driver over. Approaching the car, he notices that there are five old ladies---two in the front seat, and three in the back, wide eyed and white as ghosts. The driver, obviously confused, says to him, "Officer, I don' t understand, I was doing exactly the speed limit! What seems to be the problem?" "Ma'am," the officer replies, "you weren't speeding, but you should know that driving slower than the speed limit can be dangerous to other drivers." "Slower than the speed limit? No sir, I was doing the speed limit exactly....twenty-two miles an hour!" the old woman says a bit proudly. The State Trooper, trying to contain a chuckle explains to her that 22 was the route number, not the speed limit. A bit embarassed, the woman grinned and thanked the officer for pointing out the error. "But before I let you go, Ma'am, I have to ask.....Is everyone in this car OK? These women seem awfully shaken and they haven't muttered a single peep this whole time, "the officer asks. "Oh, they'll be all right in a minute, officer. We just got off Route 119."

To: John Carragher who wrote (11984)	10/14/1999 6:31:00 PM
From: Calvin Scott	Respond to of 62549

There was a Christian lady who lived next door to an atheist. Everyday, when the lady prayed, the atheist guy could hear her. He thought to himself, “She sure is crazy, praying all the time like that. Doesn't she know there isn't a God?” Many times while she was praying, he would go to her house and harass her, saying “Lady, why do you pray all the time? Don't you know there is no God?” But she kept on praying. One day, she ran out of groceries. As usual, she was praying to the Lord explaining her situation and thanking Him for what He was gonna do. AS USUAL, the atheist heard her praying and thought to himself. “Hmph . . . I'll fix her.” He went to the grocery store, bought a whole bunch of groceries, took them to her house, dropped them off on the front porch, rang the door bell and then hid in the bushes to see what she would do. When she opened the door and saw the groceries, she began to praise the Lord with all her heart, jumping, singing and shoutin' everywhere! The atheist then jumped out of the bushes and told her, “You ol' crazy lady, God didn't buy you those groceries, I bought those groceries!” Well, she ran out of the house and started running down the street, shouting and praising the Lord. When he finally caught her, he asked what her problem was . . . She said, “Iknew the Lord would provide me with some groceries, but I didn't know he was gonna make the devil pay for them!”

To: John Carragher who wrote (11984)	10/14/1999 7:26:00 PM
From: Mephisto	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62549

Very good. Shall we go to the dogs. Or should I say puppies. pageweb.com You've met JDN on SUN, I'm sure. He is going to get a wheaten puppy. It's in France. I offered to go and pick it up for him if he provided me with air ticket etc. Cheers, Mephisto

To: John Carragher who wrote (11984)	10/14/1999 8:18:00 PM
From: Mephisto	Respond to of 62549

What is the difference between a dog and a fox? About 5 drinks.

To: John Carragher who wrote (11984)	10/15/1999 12:10:00 AM
From: Mephisto	Respond to of 62549

Here's one for the Sheep. Fries For Dinner There was once a sheep farmer who had a French farmhand who helped castrate the sheep. On the first day, when the farmer castrated the sheep, the French farmhand carried the parts to the trash barrel. "No!" yelled the farmer, "Don't throw those away! My wife fries them up, and we eat them, they're delicious! They're called Sheep Fries!" The farmhand saved the parts and took them to the farmer's wife who cooked served them for supper. For the next three evenings she served Sheep Fries for supper. On the fourth night the farmer came in for supper. He asked his wife, "Where's the farmhand? She replied, "It's the strangest thing! He came in and asked, "what's for supper?" I told him French Fries. And he RAN out of here so fast you'd think the Devil was after him.