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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Mephisto who wrote (11998)	10/15/1999 1:01:00 AM
From: faqsnlojiks	Read Replies (3) \| Respond to of 62549

grub 12k

To: Mephisto who wrote (11998)	10/15/1999 12:30:00 PM
From: Tecinvestor	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62549

JESUS, SATAN AND THE INEVITABLE Jesus and Satan were having an ongoing argument about who was better on his computer. They had been going at it for days, and God was tired of hearing all of the bickering. Finally God said, "Cool it. I am going to set up a test that will run two hours and I will judge who does the better job." So down Satan and Jesus sat at the keyboards and typed away. They moused. They did spreadsheets. They wrote reports. They sent faxes. They sent e-mail. They sent out e-mail with attachments. They downloaded. They did some genealogy reports. They made cards. They did every known job. But ten minutes before their time was up, lightning suddenly flashed across the sky, thunder rolled, the rain poured and, of course, the electricity went off. Satan stared at his blank screen and screamed every curse word known in the underworld. Jesus just sighed. The electricity finally flickered back on, and each of them restarted their computers. Satan started searching frantically, screaming "it's gone! It's all gone! I lost everything when the power went out!" Meanwhile, Jesus quietly started printing out all of his files from the past two hours. Satan observed this and became irate. "Wait! He cheated, How did he do it?" God shrugged and said "Jesus saves."

To: Mephisto who wrote (11998)	10/15/1999 2:17:00 PM
From: Tecinvestor	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62549

Two guys wanted to go drinking, but they only had a dollar between them. One of the fellows looked over at a hot dog wagon nearby, and had a sudden inspiration. He spent the dollar on a hot dog. He threw the bun away, and stuffed the hot dog down his underwear. "We're gonna walk into the bar, order beers and drink them down. When the bartender asks for payment, I'm gonna stick this hot dog out my fly. You are gonna drop to your knees and start sucking on it. The bartender will be so grossed out that he'll immediately throw us out of the bar," said the lad. They entered a bar and the gambit worked like a charm. After the seventh bar they were both extremely drunk. One of them started complaining, "Sheesh, I'm starting to get bad bruises from dropping down on my knees." His companion slurred, "You think you got problems? I lost the hot dog four bars ago!"