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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Mephisto who wrote (12054)	10/18/1999 8:45:00 AM
From: John Carragher	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62549

38 Reasons Why Men Should Be Proud of Themselves > > Telephone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. > > You know stuff about tanks. > > A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase. > > You can open all your own jars. > > Dry cleaners and hair cutters don't rob you blind. > > You can go to the bathroom without a support group. > > You don't have to learn to spell a new last name. > > You can leave the motel bed unmade. > > You can kill your own food. > > You get extra credit for the slightest act of >thoughtfulness. > > Wedding plans take care of themselves. > > If someone forgets to invite you to something, he or >she can still be friends. > > Your underwear is $10 for a three-pack. > > If you are 34 and single, nobody notices. > > Everything on your face stays its original color. > > You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger's >seat. > > Three pairs of shoes are more than enough. > > You don't have to clean your apartment if the meter >reader is coming. > > Car mechanics tell you the truth. > > You can quietly watch a game with your buddy for hours >without thinking: "He must be mad at me." > > Same work...more pay. > > Gray hair and wrinkles only add character. > > Wedding dress -- $2,000. Tuxedo rental -- $75 > > You don't mooch off other's desserts. > > You can drop by to see a friend without having to bring >a little gift. > > If another guy shows up at the party in the same >outfit, you just might become lifelong friends. > > Your pals can be trusted never to trap you with "So, >notice anything different?" > > You are not expected to know the names of more than >five colors. > > You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a >nut on a bolt. > > > You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes. > > The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades. > At least a few belches are expected and tolerated. > > Your belly usually hides your big hips. > > One wallet and one pair of shoes, one color, all >seasons. > > You can "do" your nails with a pocketknife. > > You have freedom of choice concerning growing a >mustache. > > Christmas shopping can be accomplished for 25 >relatives, on December 24th, in 45 minutes. > > You can name the correct state where each NFL Team is >located, even the two from New York.