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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Tecinvestor who wrote (12065)	10/20/1999 1:09:00 AM
From: Mephisto	Respond to of 62585

Dear Tech, terrible joke, but it was the only one in my mail box. Mephisto Bob, a lawyer, drove home over the Golden Gate Bridge after spending a great day out on the ocean fishing. His catch, cleaned and filleted, was wrapped in newspaper on the passenger side floor. He was late. He drove too fast. A cop jumped out, radar gun in hand, motioned him to the side of the bridge. Bob pulled over like a good citizen. The cop walked up to the window and said, "You know how fast you were going, BOY?" Bob thought for a second and said, "Uhh, 60?" "67 mph, son! 67 mph in a 55 zone!" said the cop. "But if you already knew, officer" replied Bob, "Why did you ask me?" The officer growled, "I am going to give you a ticket." The cop took a good close look at Bob, in his stained fishing attire and said, "You don't even look like you have a job! Why, I've never seen anyone so scruffy in my entire life!" Bob answered, "I've got a job! I have a good, whelping job!" The cop leaned in the window, smelling Bob's fish catch, said, "What kind of a job would a bum like you have?" "I'm a rectum stretcher!" replied Bob. "What you say, BOY?" asked the patrolman. "I'm a rectum stretcher!" The cop, scratching his head, asked, "What does a rectum stretcher do?" Bob explained, "People call me up and say they need to be stretched, so I go over to their house. I start with a couple of fingers, then a couple more, and then one whole hand, then two. Then I slowly pull them farther and farther apart until it's a full six feet across." The cop, absorbed with these bizarre images in his mind, asked, "What the hell do you do with a six foot asshole?" Bob nonchalantly answered, "You give it a radar gun and stick it at the end of a bridge!"