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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: broken_cookie who wrote (12095)	10/20/1999 2:58:00 PM
From: Len	Respond to of 62549

The Top 15 Reasons You Didn't Win the Nobel Prize This Year 15> Your only "research project" culminated in an email to your co-workers describing the physiological traits of Hooters waitresses. 14> You beat Wilt's record at 20,001, but no one wants to disrespect a dead man. 13> "Peace prize?!? Oh man, I thought you said 'piece' prize! Do you think I could have my Polaroids back?" 12> You had to send one too many letter bombs in order to get your thesis published. 11> Previous winner: Took vow of poverty and fed starving children. You: Held best friend at gunpoint in your Bronco -- and you still haven't found the real killers. 10> Your paper: "The Economics of Supersizing It: The Marginal Utility of Fry-Drink Augmentation" 9> Just couldn't come up with a good rhyme for "Pawtucket." 8> Your project suffered when your intellectual inspiration, Dan Quayle, dropped out of the presidential race. 7> Your "perpetual motion machine" looks suspiciously like a drinking bird toy. 6> For your entire career, your "booger physics" and "snot as an adhesive" research has been largely ignored. 5> It seems the Heisman folks aren't the only ones who frown on stealing clothing. 4> That radio feller musta been mistaken when he said folks have won for their work on fishin'. 3> You were supposed to clone the entire sheep, not just "the naughty bits." 2> Whitey don't give no Nobel Prize for Rap, so who gives a @$%*!? and the Number 1 Reason You Didn't Win the Nobel Prize This Year... 1> Your field: biology Your state: Kansas (Hmmm, SI Bob is in Kansas.......)