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Pastimes : ROFLMAO Jokes Only -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Jon Khymn who wrote (1)	10/23/1999 11:35:00 AM
From: Jon Khymn	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 24

Didn't really Laughing My Ass Off, but some of these had a deep meaning behind the joke. Best T-shirts of Summer 1999: 1. I Fought the Lawn and the Lawn Won. 2. So Many Men, So Few Who Can Afford Me 3. God Made Us Sisters- Prozac Made Us Friends 4. If They Don't Have Chocolate in Heaven, I Ain't Going. 5. At My Age, I've Seen It All, Done It All, Heard It All . .I Just Can't Remember It All 6. If It's Called Tourist Season, Why Can't We Hunt Them? 7. Senior Citizen: Give Me My Damn Discount 8. Princess, Having Had Sufficient Experience With Princes, Seeks Frog 9. What If the Hokey Pokey Really IS What It's All About? 10. Coffee, Chocolate, Men . . . Some Things Are Just Better Rich 11. Growing Old Is Inevitable- Growing Up Is Optional 12. Don't Treat Me Any Differently Than You Would the Queen 13. If You Want Breakfast in Bed, Sleep in the Kitchen 14. First National Bank of Dad- Sorry, Closed 15. In Dog Years, I'm Dead 16. If at First You Don't Succeed, Skydiving Isn't for You. 17. The Trouble With the Gene Pool Is That There's No Lifeguard. 18. Get a New Car for Your Spouse. It'll Be a Great Trade. 19. It's Hard to Be Nostalgic When You Can't Remember Anything. 20. Dinner Is Ready When the Smoke Alarm Goes Off. 21. Wanted: Meaningful Overnight Relationship. 22. Anything Not Worth Doing Is Not Worth Doing Well. 23. A Day Without Sunshine Is Like Night. 24. A City Is a Large Community Where People Are Lonesome together. Message 11676169

To: Jon Khymn who wrote (1)	10/23/1999 11:15:00 PM
From: M. Dion	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 24

CATHOLIC MATH > > Little Tommy was doing very badly in math. His parents had tried everything; > tutors, flash cards, special learning centers, in short, everything they > could think of. > > Finally in a last ditch effort, they took Tommy down and enrolled him in the > local Catholic School. After the first day, little Tommy comes home > with a very serious look on his face. He doesn't kiss his mother hello. > Instead, he goes straight to his room & starts studying. Books & papers are > spread out all over the room and little Tommy is hard at work. His mother is > amazed. She calls him down to dinner and to her shock, the minute he is > done he marches back to his roomwithout a word and in no time he is back to > hitting the books as hard as before. > > This goes on for sometime, day after day while the mother tries to > understand what made all the difference. Finally, little Tommy brings home > his > report card. He quietly lays it on the table and goes up to his room and > hits the books. With great trepidation, his mom looks at it and to her > surprise, little Tommy got an A in math. > > She can no longer hold her curiosity. She goes to his room and says: "Son, > what was it? Was it the nuns?" Little Tommy looks at her and shakes his > head. > > "Well then," she replies, "was it the books, the discipline, the structure, > the uniforms, WHAT was it?" > > Little Tommy looks at her and says, "Well, on the first day of school, when > I saw that guy nailed to the plus sign, I knew they weren't fooling > around." >