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Pastimes : Let's Talk About Our Feelings!!! -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Edwarda who wrote (60135)	10/24/1999 11:50:00 PM
From: Rambi	Read Replies (2) \| Respond to of 108807

Hi Edwarda, Watching loved ones die of cancer is a terrible thing. My mother chose to die at home also. After we watched my father die of the same colon cancer, she made me promise not to put her in the hospital. She refused radiation or chemo, as it would only have prolonged her life. She was unable to eat for a year, and by the end couldn't even hold down ice. She literally starved to death. I have written quite a bit about her courage and spirit and goodness in the past here and also the wonderful moments we were able to share through that last year. I don't believe she suffered pain in the sense some cancers can cause. She was on very high morphine doses by the final weeks, but not injections- mostly patches and suppositories. I was flying back and forth from Dallas to Richmond VA on weekends renting a car and driving over the mountains for two hours to our very small town in the Shenandoah Valley. While it was grueling I have some incredible memories and experiences from that year, and especially those last weeks. I believe it was one of the most valuable and precious periods of my life. I suppose I could have covered her with all the patches at once. Murder by morphine patches. Then flushed the evidence. My life being the farce it so often is, the toilet would have stopped up and the evidence washed out onto the street or something.