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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Mephisto who wrote (12188)	10/26/1999 10:24:00 PM
From: Ian@SI	Read Replies (2) \| Respond to of 62549

Some repeats here... >> In the beginning, God created earth and rested. Then God created man >> > and rested. Then God created woman. Since then, neither God nor man >> has >> >rested. >> > > >> > > - - - - - - - - - - >> > > >> > > My wife and I are inseparable. >> > > In fact, last week it took four state troopers and a dog. >> > > >> > > - - - - - - - - - - >> > > >> > >Why do men die before their wives? >> They want to. >> > > - - - - - - - - - - >> > > >> > > What is the difference between a dog and a fox? >> > > About 5 drinks. >> > > - - - - - - - - - - >> > > >> > >A beggar walked up to a well dressed woman shopping on Rodeo Drive >> and >> > said "I haven't eaten anything in four days." >> > >She looked at him and said, "God, I wish I had your willpower." >> > > >> > > - - - - - - - - - - >> > > >> > > Do you know the punishment for bigamy? >> > > Two Mothers-in-law. >> > > - - - - - - - - - - >> > > >> > >Young Son: Is it true, Dad, I heard that in some parts of Africa a >> man >> > doesn't know his wife until he marries her? >> > >Dad: That happens in every country, son. >> > > >> > > - - - - - - - - - - >> > > >> > > A man inserted an 'ad' in the classified: "Wife wanted". >> > > Next day he received a hundred letters. >> > > They all said the same thing: >> > > "You can have mine." >> > > >> > > - - - - - - - - - - >> > > >> > >The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget >> it >> once. >> > > >> > > - - - - - - - - - - >> > > >> > > First guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!" >> > > Second guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive." >> > > >> > > - - - - - - - - - - >> > > >> > >How do most men define marriage? >> > >An expensive way to get laundry done for free. >> > > >> > > - - - - - - - - - - >> > > >> > >Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life >> > thinking they had no faults at all. >> > > - - - - - - - - - - >> > > >> > >If you want your wife to listen and pay undivided attention to every >> > word you say, talk in your sleep. >> > > - - - - - - - - - - >> > > >> > >Then there was a man who said, "I never knew what real happiness was >> > until I got married; and then it was too late." >> > > >> > > - - - - - - - - - - >> > > >> > >A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get >> married?" >> > >And the father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still paying." >> > > >> > > - - - - - - - - - - >> > > >> > >The bumper sticker read: >> > > "I lost 250 pounds in one day-- I divorced her." >> > > - - - - - - - - - - >> > > >> > >Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street >> > with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are beautiful.