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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: zonkie who wrote (12221)	10/28/1999 11:02:00 AM
From: SIer formerly known as Joe B.	Respond to of 62569

Coke Machine Would Raise Price When Heat Is On Thursday October 28 7:38 AM ET dailynews.yahoo.com LONDON (Reuters) - Coca-Cola Co is working on a vending machine that automatically increases the price of the soft drink when the temperature rises. Coke chairman Doug Ivester told the Brazilian magazine Veja the machine was designed to reconcile supply and demand by raising the price when demand increased. ''Coca-Cola is a product whose utility varies from moment to moment,'' he was quoted as saying. The machine has been tested in Japan and the company is still evaluating the technology.

To: zonkie who wrote (12221)	10/28/1999 1:33:00 PM
From: Kenneth V. McNutt	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62569

A mortician was working late one night. It was his job to examine the dead bodies before they were sent off to be buried or cremated. As he examined the body of Mr. Schwartz, who was about to be cremated, he made an amazing discovery: Schwartz had the longest penis he had ever seen! "I'm sorry Mr. Schwartz," said the mortician, "but I can't send you off to be cremated with a tremendously huge penis like this. It has to be saved for posterity." And the coroner used his tools to remove the dead man's schlong. The coroner stuffed his prize into a briefcase and took it home. The first person he showed was his wife. "I have something to show you that you won't believe," he said, and he opened his briefcase. "Oh, my god!" she screamed, "Schwartz is dead!"