On the grave of Ezekial Aikle in East Dalhousie Cemetery, Nova Scotia:
>Here lies
>Ezekial Aikle
>Age 102
>The Good
>Die Young.
>
>In a London, England, cemetery:
>Ann Mann
>Here lies Ann Mann,
>Who lived an old maid
>But died an old Mann.
>Dec. 8, 1767
>
>In a Ribbesford, England, cemetery:
>Anna Wallace
>The children of Israel wanted bread
>And the Lord sent them manna,
>Old clerk Wallace wanted a wife,
>And the Devil sent him Anna.
>
>Playing with names in a Ruidoso, New Mexico, cemetery:
>Here lies
>Johnny Yeast
>Pardon me
>For not rising.
>
>Memory of an accident in a Uniontown, Pa., cemetery:
>Here lies the body
>of Jonathan Blake
>Stepped on the gas
>Instead of the brake.
>
>In a Silver City, Nev., cemetery:
>Here lays Butch,
>We planted him raw.
>He was quick on the trigger,
>But slow on the draw.
>
>An epitaph in a Vermont cemetery:
>Sacred to the memory of
>my husband John Barnes
>who died January 3, 1803
>His comely young widow, aged 23, has many qualifications of a good wife,
and yearns
>to be comforted.
>
>A lawyer's epitaph in England:
>Sir John Strange
>Here lies an honest lawyer,
>And that is Strange.
>
>Someone determined to be anonymous in Stowe, Vermont:
>I was somebody.
>Who, is no business of yours.
>
>Lester Moore was a Wells, Fargo Co. station agent for Naco, Ariz., in the
>cowboy days of the 1880s. He's buried in the Boot Hill Cemetery in
Tombtone,
>Ariz.:
>Here lies Lester Moore
>Four slugs from a .44
>No Les No More.
>
>In a Georgia cemetery:
>"I told you I was sick!"
>
>John Penny's epitaph in the Wimborne, England, cemetery:
>Reader if cash thou art
>In want of any
>Dig 4 feet deep
>And thou wilt find a Penny.
>
>On Margaret Daniels grave at Hollywood Cemetery Richmond, Va.:
>She always said her feet were killing her but nobody believed her.
>
>In a cemetery in Hartscombe, England:
>On the 22nd of June --
>Jonathan Fiddle --
>Went out of tune.
>
>Anna Hopewell's grave in Enosburg Falls, Vt., has an epitaph that sounds
like
>something from a Three Stooges movie:
>Here lies the body of our Anna
>Done to death by a banana
>It wasn't the fruit that laid her low
>But the skin of the thing that made her go.
>
>More fun with names with Owen Moore in Battersea, London, England:
>Gone away
>Owin' more
>Than he could pay.
>
>Someone in Winslow, Maine, didn't like Mr. Wood:
>In Memory of Beza Wood
>Departed this life
>Nov. 2, 1837
>Aged 45 yrs.
>Here lies one Wood
>Enclosed in wood
>One Wood
>Within another.
>The outer wood
>Is very good:
>We cannot praise
>The other.
>
>On a grave from the 1880's in Nantucket, Mass.:
>Under the sod and under the trees
>Lies the body of Jonathan Pease.
>He is not here, there's only the pod:
>Pease shelled out and went to God.
>
>The grave of Ellen Shannon in Girard, Pa., is almost a consumer tip:
>Who was fatally burned
>March 21, 1870
>by the explosion of a lamp
>filled with "R.E. Danforth's
>Non-Explosive Burning Fluid"
>
>Oops! Harry Edsel Smith of Albany, N.Y.:
>Born 1903 -- Died 1942
>Looked up the elevator shaft to see if the car was on the way down. It
was.
>
>In a Thurmont, Md., cemetery:
>Here lies an Atheist
>All dressed up
>And no place to go.
>
>In a cemetery in England:
>Remember, man, as you walk by,
>As you are now, so once was I,
>As I am now, so shall you be,
>Remember this and follow me.
>
>To which someone replied by writing on the tombstone:
>To follow you I'll not consent,
>Until I know which way you went |
