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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: larscot who wrote (12296)	11/2/1999 11:46:00 AM
From: Gary H	Respond to of 62550

Redneck Medical Dictionary > > Artery........................ The study of paintings. > Bacteria.................... Back door to cafeteria. > Barium...................... What doctors do when patients die. > Benign...................... What you are after you be eight. > Cesarean Section....... A neighborhood in Rome. > Catscan.................... Searching for kitty. > Cauterize.................. Made eye contact with her. > Colic......................... A sheep dog. > Coma....................... A punctuation mark. > D & C....................... Where Washington is. > Dilate....................... To live long > Enema..................... Not a friend. > Fester...................... Quicker than someone else. > Fibula....................... A small lie > Genital...................... Non-Jewish person. > G.I. Series................ World Series of military baseball. > Hangnail................... What you hang your coat on. > Impotent................... Distinguished, well known. > Labor Pain................ Getting hurt at work. > Medical Staff............. A Doctor's cane. > Morbid..................... .A higher offer than I bid. > Nitrates.................... Cheaper than day rates. > Node........................ Was aware of. > Out patient................ A person who has fainted. > Pap Smear............... A fatherhood test. > Pelvis...................... .Second cousin to Elvis. > Post Operative.......... A letter carrier. > Recovery Room........ Place to do upholstery. > Rectum.................... Damn near killed him. > Secretion................. Hiding something. > Seizure.................... Roman emperor. > Tablet...................... A small table. > Terminal Illness........ Getting sick at the airport. > Tumor...................... More than one. > Urine....................... Opposite of you're out. > Varicose................. Near by/close by. > > > > THREE PROOFS THAT JESUS WAS JEWISH > He went into his father's business > He lived at home until he was 33 > He was sure his mother was a virgin, and his Mother was sure he was God > > THREE PROOFS THAT JESUS WAS IRISH > He never got married > He was always telling stories > He loved the green pastures > > THREE PROOFS THAT JESUS WAS PUERTO RICAN > His first name was Jesus > He was bilingual > He was always being harassed by the authorities > > THREE PROOFS THAT JESUS WAS ITALIAN > He talked with his hands > He had wine with every meal > His father worked in the building trades > > THREE PROOFS THAT JESUS WAS BLACK > He called everybody "brother" > He liked Gospel > He couldn't get a fair trial > > THREE PROOFS THAT JESUS WAS A CALIFORNIAN > He never cut his hair > He walked around barefoot > He started a new religion > > THREE PROOFS THAT JESUS WAS A WOMAN > He had to feed a crowd at a moment's notice when there was no food > He kept trying to get the message across to a bunch of men who just > didn't > get it > Even when he was dead, he had to get up because there was more work for > him to do. >