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Pastimes : Don't Ask Rambi -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Rambi who wrote (42278)	11/19/1999 10:05:00 PM
From: Jacques Chitte	Respond to of 71178

You gave your editor the bird , uh HUHuhuhuhuh

To: Rambi who wrote (42278)	11/19/1999 10:45:00 PM
From: Crocodile	Respond to of 71178

<<You MUST START PRINTING AND KEEPING THESE STORIES!! TRUST ME ON THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (is that enough exclamation points?)>> Yes, those are enough exclamation points...(-: Actually, I do save some of these posts onto my computer. I haven't had much time to think about doing anything "creative" with them, but I may get around to this...uhm...well, maybe soon... I promise... We should probably publish a collective effort... THE DARIANS... has an excellent ring to it...;-}>

To: Rambi who wrote (42278)	11/20/1999 12:21:00 AM
From: Crocodile	Read Replies (2) \| Respond to of 71178

<<I sent the column with a note- The Thanksgiving Turkey- a Meaty Topic.>> Hmm...turkeys... did you know they can be quite affectionate?..they're not particularly bright, but they are amiable. When you buy day-old turkeys, the instructions for feeding usually tell you to put a few bright shiny marbles in their waterer so that while they're pecking at them, they'll also figure out how to drink... Not exactly rocket scientist material, but then rocket scientists probably don't taste much good, so it sort of evens out. (BTW, there's a great use for those marbles we were discussing last week... In fact, maybe that's where all of the really neat ones are...in turkey waterers across North America.) Well, back to the "affectionate turkey" thing.... A few years ago, my next door neighbor had a bunch of free-range turkeys at her place for a summer. Raising them wasn't really her idea... it was her husband's little brainstorm for making some spare cash for Christmas one year... So, the turkeys were purchased in the spring time... Have you ever seen very young turkeys? Pretty gawky looking things... Look like miniature pale yellow ostriches... big round heads, long scrawny necks, tennis-ball shaped bodies, and disproportionately long scaly legs... Just about the saddest looking young critters I've ever seen... Anyhow, the turkeys arrived,...and as might be expected, my neighbor's husband somehow managed to divert the care and feeding of the turkeys onto the better caregiver in the family. Before long, my neighbor had developed a certain "rapport" with her charges. They would make gentle little "turkey cooing sounds" whenever she appeared to feed them. Then, as they grew and became more venturesome, they would peck around in her flower gardens... being much gentler and mindful of the flowers than chickens (which just love to get into your garden so that they can start ripping and scratching up everything while in pursuit of what are probably imaginary bugs). It was soon after this point that I dropped by to visit one afternoon...only to find my neighbor sitting out on her lawnchair, in the middle of the yard under the clothesline, reading a novel... I forget the title... with a dozen now-football-sized turkeys arrayed in a circle around her. They were sunning themselves, as poultry like to do... turning slightly from side to side while raising their wings to let the sun shine on their sides, or stretching out a leg from time-to-time, just because it probably felt good. And all the while, they kept their big dark eyes firmly fixed on their principle caregiver, and occasionally issuing a little affectionate chortle intended for her ears only... As I walked up, I thought, "There's definitely something wrong with this picture... This little turkey paradise will not go on forever". But I didn't say anything about my feelings of foreboding. Hot summer days eventually led to cool autumn nights and now the football-sized turkeys were approaching butter-basted size. But even yet, the guileless birds would spend part of each day socializing around the lawnchair. As we know, all good things must come to an end, and finally, on one fateful day, the jig was up. My neighbor, who had been dreading the inevitable, returned from running errands one morning, only to find that the turkeys had decided to conduct their usual gathering around the lawnchair, regardless of her absence. However, there was one small "hitch", and that had to do with the clothesline... for you see, my neighbor had put out a couple of loads of laundry before leaving for an hour or so... you know... sheets, pillowcases, towels... all put out to dry in the sun... But while she was away, the clothesline took that most inopportune time to break and drop down onto the lawn with its various bits and pieces of linens still attached. This wasn't really a problem to the turkeys... after all, they're quite adaptable creatures. No matter if the grass was now littered with sheets and pillowcases... They could handle the change. They just settled right down on top of the laundry, in the sun... waiting for my friend's return... and doing that thing that comes quite naturally to all big birds... I don't think I need to elaborate on that... I believe you all have good imaginations...;-}> It sometimes seems that there is a reason for just about everything that happens in this world. Discovering two loads of bedsheets decorated with several dozen large heaps of bird droppings seemed to be enough to harden my friend's heart towards those turkeys... I don't believe she even shed a tear when the day came for the turkeys to meet their maker.... Kind of odd how "situations" often seem to work themselves out, isn't it?