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To: DonH who wrote (12635)	11/25/1999 12:10:00 PM
From: Edwarda	Respond to of 62558

>>The following are actual excerpts from classified > >>sections of city newspapers. > >> > >>Illiterate? Write today for free help. > >> > >>Auto Repair Service. Free pick-up and delivery. > >>Try us once, you'll never go anywhere again. > >> > >>Our experienced Mom will care for your child. > >>Fenced yard, meals, and smacks included. > >> > >>Dog for sale: eats anything and is fond of > >>children. > >> > >>Stock up and save. Limit: one. > >> > >>Semi-Annual after-Christmas Sale. > >> > >>3-year old teacher needed for pre-school. > >>Experience preferred. > >> > >>Mixing bowl set designed to please a cook with > >>round bottom for efficient beating. > >> > >>Girl wanted to assist magician in cutting-off-head > >>illusion. Blue Cross and salary. > >> > >>Dinner Special -- Turkey $2.35; Chicken or Beef > >>$2.25; Children $2.00 > >> > >>For sale: antique desk suitable for lady with > >>thick legs and large drawers. > >> > >>Now is your chance to have your ears pierced and > >>get an extra pair to take home, too. > >> > >>We do not tear your clothing with machinery. We do > >>it carefully by hand. > >> > >>For sale. Three canaries of undermined sex. > >> > >>Great Dames for sale. > >> > >>Have several very old dresses from grandmother in > >>beautiful condition. > >> > >>Tired of cleaning yourself. Let me do it. > >> > >>For Rent: 6-room hated apartment. > >> > >>Man, honest. Will take anything. > >> > >>Used Cars: Why go elsewhere to be cheated. Come > >>here first. > > >>Wanted: Hair cutter. Excellent growth potential. > >> > >>Wanted. Man to take care of cow that does not > >>smoke or drink. > >> > >>Our bikinis are exciting. They are simply the > >>tops. > >> > >>Wanted. Widower with school age children requires > >>person to assume general housekeeping duties. > >>Must be capable of contributing to growth of > >>family. > >> > >>And now, the Superstore-unequaled in size, > >>unmatched in variety, unrivaled inconvenience. > >> > >>We will oil your sewing machine and adjust tension > >>in your home for $1.00.