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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: E who wrote (12729)	12/3/1999 11:36:00 PM
From: Goalie	Respond to of 62562

THE BOY AND THE FROG There was this little boy about 12 years old walking down the sidewalk pulling a wagon and dragging a flattened frog on a string behind it, when he comes up to the doorstep of a house of ill repute. He knocked on the door, and the madam came to answer it, saw him and asked what he wanted.He said he wanted what she was selling inside, had the money to buy it, and wasn't leaving until he got it. She thought she would have some fun with him, so she told him to come in.Once he got in, she told him to pick one of the girls he liked; he asked her if any of the girls had any diseases, and of course the madam said no. He had heard all the men were talking about having to go to the hospital and get shots after making love with Mable, and that was the girl he wanted, and that he had the money to pay for it. The madam told him to go upstairs and go to the first room on the right. So he headed down the hall dragging the frog behind him. Ten minutes later he came back down still dragging the frog. He paid the madam, and picked up his wagon and headed out the door,at which time the madam stopped him and asked him just why he picked the only girl she had in the place with a disease,instead of one of the others. He said: "Well, if you must know, tonight when I get home, my mother and father are going out to a restaurant to eat, leaving me at home with a baby-sitter. When they leave, I'm gonna screw the baby-sitter who happens to be fond of little boys, and give her the disease I just caught. When mom and dad get home, dad will take the baby-sitter home. On the way, he'll screw her, and he will catch it. When dad gets home, he and mom will go to bed, they'll make love, and mom will catch it In the morning when dad goes to work, the milkman will deliver the milk, and he'll nail mom, and he will catch it, and he's the son-of-a-bitch that ran over my FROG...

To: E who wrote (12729)	12/5/1999 1:05:00 PM
From: Edwarda	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62562

If a light-sleeper sleeps with a light on, what does a hard-sleeper sleep with. What is the difference between erotic and kinky? Erotic is using a feather...kinky is using the whole chicken. What is the difference between "ooooooh" and "aaaaaah"? About three inches. What is the difference between a hormone and an enzyme? You can't hear an enzyme. How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb? One....Men will screw anything. How do crazy people go through the forest? They take the psycho path. What did the fish say when he hit a concrete wall? "Dam!" What do you call a boomerang that doesn't work? A Stick. What do you call four bull fighters in quicksand? Quatro sinko. Where do you find a dog with no legs? Right where you left him. What does it mean when the flag is at half mast at the post office? They're hiring. Why don't blind people skydive? Because it scares the hell out of the dog. What has four legs and an arm? A happy pit-bull. What is the difference between a peeping tom and a robber? A robber snatches watches. Three old ladies are sitting on a park bench. Suddenly a man comes along, flings open his trench coat and flashes them. Two have a stroke but the third doesn't cause her arms aren't long enough. How do you find a blind man in a nudist colony? It's not hard.