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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: SIer formerly known as Joe B. who wrote (12772)	12/9/1999 2:06:00 PM
From: Elmer Flugum	Read Replies (2) \| Respond to of 62558

New Definitions: Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly. Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it. Inocculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late. Hipatitis: Terminal coolness. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer, man. Glibido: All talk and no action. Dopeler effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly. Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts only until you realize it was your money to begin with. Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an asshole.

To: SIer formerly known as Joe B. who wrote (12772)	12/11/1999 12:06:00 PM
From: Peter S. Maroulis	Read Replies (3) \| Respond to of 62558

A lady and her dog were enjoying a stroll in the park when her dog was mounted from behind by a large Rottweiler. The Rot was really humping away and the lady was frantically trying to break them up, to no avail. A small boy walked up and stuck his finger in the Rots ass, and the action immediately stopped. The lady was amazed. "How did you do that?" she asked. The little boy said, "That's my dog! He can dish it out, but he can't take it!" ************************************************************** A lady come home and caught her husband in the act of cheating on her. The rural housewife went back to the back of the house and returned with the family's .22 caliber rifle. Aiming the weapon at her husband's balls she said, "I'm gonna turn a bull into a steer, John!" "No no!" pleaded John. "Not like this! C'mon, Judy, give me a sporting chance, darlin!" "All right. I will. You can set 'em to swinging..."