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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Mephisto who wrote (12814)	12/15/1999 8:04:00 PM
From: Tecinvestor	Respond to of 62558

OLD DOG As an elderly lady sat on her front porch, reflecting on her long life, a Fairy Godmother suddenly appeared and offered to fulfill three wishes. "Well," said the woman, "I guess I'd like to be rich." POOF: The Fairy Godmother turned her rocking chair into solid gold. "And I wouldn't mind being a young and beautiful princess." POOF: The Fairy Godmother turned the old woman into a beautiful young princess, with a priceless crown of jewels. "Your third wish?," asked the Fairy Godmother. The elderly woman's dog raised his head and uttered a single, weak, hoarse "woof." "Could you possibly turn my wonderful dog into a handsome prince?" POOF: There, in front of the old woman, who had now turned into a beautiful princess, stood the most handsome young man anyone had ever seen. More handsome than anyone could possibly imagine. She stared at him in awe, completely smitten. As he came toward her, her knees weakened. He bent down, brushing his lips across her ear as he whispered, "I'll bet you're sorry you had me neutered."

To: Mephisto who wrote (12814)	12/20/1999 9:55:00 PM
From: John Carragher	Respond to of 62558

Dig this!> > > Subject: Tips for Hiring Women into the Workforce > >The following is an excerpt from the July 1943 issue of MassTransportation. >This was serious; it was written for male supervisors of women in the work >force during World War II. For those of you who find yourselves working >inefficiently during the day, the solution will be found in #8! > >Eleven Tips on Getting More Efficiency Out of Women Employees: >There's no longer any question whether transit companies should hire women >for jobs formerly held by men. The draft and manpower shortage has settled >that point. The important things now are to select the most efficient women >available and how to use them to the best advantage. Here are eleven helpful >tips on the subject from Western Properties: > >1. Pick young married women. They usually have more of a sense of >responsibility than their unmarried sisters, they're less likely to be >flirtatious, they need the work or they wouldn't be doing it, they still >have the pep and interest to work hard and to deal with the public >efficiently. >2. When you have to use older women, try to get ones who have worked >outside the home at some time in their lives. Older women who have never >contacted the public have a hard time adapting themselves and are inclined >to be cantankerous and fussy. It's always well to impress upon older women >the importance of friendliness and courtesy. >3. General experience indicates that "husky" girls - those who are just >a little on the heavy side - are more even tempered and efficient than their >underweight sisters. >4. Retain a physician to give each woman you hire a special physical >examination - one covering female conditions. This step not only protects >the property against the possibilities of lawsuit, but reveals whether the >employee-to-be has any female weaknesses which would make her mentally or >physically unfit for the job. >5. Stress at the outset the importance of time - the fact that a minute >or two lost here and there makes serious inroads on schedules. Until this >point is gotten across, service is likely to be slowed up. >6. Give the female employee a definite day-long schedule of duties so >that they'll keep busy without bothering the management for instructions >every few minutes. Numerous properties say that women make excellent workers >when they have their jobs cut out for them, but that they lack initiative in >finding work themselves. >7. Whenever possible, let the inside employee change from one job to >another at some time during the day. Women are inclined to be less nervous >and happier with change. >8. Give every girl an adequate number of rest periods during the day. >You have to make some allowances for feminine psychology. A girl has more >confidence and is more efficient if she can keep her hair tidied, apply >fresh lipstick and wash her hands several times a day. >9. Be tactful when issuing instructions or in making criticisms. >Women are often sensitive; they can't shrug off harsh words the way men do. >Never ridicule a woman - it breaks her spirit and cuts off her efficiency. >10. Be reasonably considerate about using strong language around women. >Even though a girl's husband or father may swear vociferously, she'll grow >to dislike a place of business where she hears too much of this. >11. Get enough size variety in operator's uniforms so that each girl can >have a proper fit. This point can't be stressed too much in keeping women >happy.