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Pastimes : Let's Talk About Our Feelings!!! -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Ilaine who wrote (66317)	12/12/1999 8:40:00 PM
From: epicure	Read Replies (3) \| Respond to of 108807

Have to disagree with you there. Most of the volunteer stuff at my kids school is useful stuff. Parents volunteer in the classrooms bringing the adult/student ratios down. It's a great help to the teachers. Parents volunteer as gate teachers for the gate classes (for the gifted kids- parents, primarily mothers- run the whole thing). Volunteers run the Scrip program and the fundraisers for the PTA that raises money for all the assemblies and the library and all the other discretionary funding. And of course parents drive on the fields trips- since we no longer have busses available. As for the volunteers with Scouts- the program would grind to a screeching halt without a lot of work by the parents who are involved.

To: Ilaine who wrote (66317)	12/12/1999 8:46:00 PM
From: Grainne	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 108807

Wow, I can see that this area of child rearing creates hard and bad feelings on every side very quickly! Let me back track a little, okay? When I was talking about very smart stay-at-home moms, I was referring to X and Penni. I take so many breaks from SI that it is hard to keep everyone's entire life circumstances in my head. I have known both of them for a very long time, and I thought of them immediately. I certainly did not mean to slight you, and I do believe that it is possible to be very smart, have young children, and not stay home with them every moment. I do have a different experience than Joan; there is not one time that I ever needed a break from my child and hoped she could play somewhere else. I only have one, though, and she is very well behaved (because I never spanked her). I can imagine that two or more might make me feel like that on occasion. How your children remember their experience when they grow up is something that is personal for them. They may do just fine. I had experiences very similar to X's--coming home to an empty house, having parents who did not make child rearing a priority, being taken care of by people who were cruel and sadistic, etc. As the result, even when I did go back to work my husband and I worked at different times so that my daughter would have the experience of always being with a parent and not a caretaker.