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Pastimes : Let's Talk About Our Feelings!!! -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: epicure who wrote (66452)	12/13/1999 11:56:00 AM
From: Lizzie Tudor	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 108807

The problem is you are taking an obvious dysfunctional family, looking at the makeup of that family, and then extrapolating it to apply to all families with that structure. I know of a few CEOs that have had children and none just quit their company to stay home. One (K Garnett) has had three children. Sandy Kurtzig had a baby while running ASK and that was almost 20 years ago. Your implication that the children of these exceptional women will somehow grow to be flawed individuals has me confused. I don't think I want to dodge all the bullets on this issue, I was just trying to explain to nihil that I wasn't serious.

To: epicure who wrote (66452)	12/14/1999 3:58:00 AM
From: Grainne	Read Replies (2) \| Respond to of 108807

X, I think it wonderful when mothers can stay home with teenagers. I'm not sure I agree that it is impossible to be very good parents to teenagers if both parents work. Teenagers are in school almost all day. While I would never leave mine to wander aimlessly after school or stay home unsupervised, there are constructive activities and programs they can participate in every day. I spend every evening and most of the weekend with my teenager. Her daddy has staggered his work schedule to be with her most of the rest of the time. When neither of us can be there, she is at the library or helping with a class of preteen stained glass students, or volunteering at the animal shelter or something else which is beneficial or positive in some way. I agree with you that teenagers need a lot of guidance from their parents (and a lot of close supervision). If both parents are working, however, it is much more possible to provide a healthy and nurturing environment for a teenager than for a baby or preschool child. The Columbine shooting teenagers were not well supervised. One of them seems to have been seriously mentally ill, as well. In one of the families, the mother thought the son needed a lot more help than he was getting, but the father was in denial and did not want more--or more effective--treatment for the son's mental problems. The family pathologies were much more complex than simply having to do with whether the mothers worked. There are also very neglectful mothers who do not work at all, and pay their children very little attention. In my opinion the easy availability of weapons and a culture of violence were also major factors in these shootings, as well.