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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Karen Lawrence who wrote (12828)	12/14/1999 1:37:00 PM
From: Peter S. Maroulis	Respond to of 62549

Oldie / Goodie Merv was in a terrible accident at work. He fell through a floor tile and ripped off both of his ears. Since he was permanently disfigured, he settled with the company for a rather large sum of money and went on his way. One day, Merv decided to invest his money in a small, but growing internet company. After weeks of negotiations, he bought the company outright. But, after signing on the dotted line he realized that he knew nothing about running such a business and quickly set out to hire someone who could do that for him. The next day he had set up three interviews. The first guy was great. He knew everything he needed to and was very interesting. At the end of the interview, Merv asked him, "Do you notice anything different about me?" And the gentleman answered, "Why yes, I couldn't help but notice you have no ears." Merv got very angry and threw him out. The second interview was with a woman, and she was even better than the first guy. He asked her the same question, "Do you notice anything different about me?" and she replied, "Well, you have no ears." Merv again was upset and tossed her out. The third and last interview was the best of all three. It was with a very young man who was fresh out of college. He was smart. He was handsome and he seemed to be a better businessman than the first two put together. Merv was anxious, but went ahead and asked the young man the same question: "Do you notice anything different about me?" And to his surprise, the young man answered, "Yes. You wear contact lenses." Merv was shocked, and said, "What an incredibly observant young man. How in the world did you know that?" The young man fell off his chair laughing hysterically and replied, "Well, it's pretty damn hard to wear glasses with no ears!"

To: Karen Lawrence who wrote (12828)	12/14/1999 1:55:00 PM
From: SIer formerly known as Joe B.	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62549

Karen, Excellent! Never heard that one before. Charles M. Schulz, Creator of PEANUTS, To Retire NEW YORK, Dec. 14 /PRNewswire/ -- Charles M. ("Sparky") Schulz, creator of the PEANUTS comic strip, will retire January 4th, 2000. In a letter to his readers, colleagues, fellow cartoonists and friends, Schulz wrote: "I have always wanted to be a cartoonist, and I feel very blessed to have been able to do what I love for almost 50 years. That all of you have embraced Snoopy, Charlie Brown, Lucy and Linus and all the other PEANUTS characters has been a constant motivation for me. "It is important for me to tell you personally that I have decided to retire from drawing the PEANUTS comic strip, after the daily release of Monday, January 3rd, 2000, (and Sunday release of February 13th), in order to concentrate on my treatment for and recuperation from colon cancer. Although I feel better following my recent surgery, I want to focus on my health and my family without the worry of a daily deadline. "Thank you for your kindness and support over the years and for the outpouring of good wishes since my surgery." In accordance with the wishes of Mr. Schulz, his last original daily strip will appear on Monday, January 3rd, and his last original Sunday will appear on February 6. Beginning on Tuesday, January 4th, for dailies (and February 20th for Sundays), we will be offering our PEANUTS clients comic strips originally drawn in 1974. The year 1974 was chosen as the roll-out year for Classic Peanuts because it incorporates the characters of the strip's very early days (Charlie Brown, Lucy, Schroeder and Snoopy) with popular characters that were introduced in later years such as Peppermint Patty and Woodstock. The strips that he drew in 1974 unite the genius of comic timing and dialogue with the artwork of a master. On October 2, 1950, Charles M. Schulz's PEANUTS comic strip first appeared in seven newspapers. Growing from that original seven to more than 2,600 today, PEANUTS is the most widely syndicated comic strip in history. On a daily basis, PEANUTS reaches more than 355 million readers in 75 countries and 21 languages. Its timeless and endearing humor has expanded into more than 50 animated television specials, more than 1,400 books selling 300 million copies, and four feature films. United Media (UM) is a fully integrated, worldwide licensing and syndication company that focuses on building brand equity around a wide range of creative content through its two syndicates: United Feature Syndicate (UFS) and Newspaper Enterprise Association (NEA), and licensing: United Media Licensing (UML). UM licenses and/or syndicates a variety of properties including PEANUTS (http://www.snoopy.com), Dilbert (http://www.dilbert.com), For Better or For Worse, Raggedy Ann & Andy, and Rainbow Fish. United Media (http://www.comics.com) is an E.W. Scripps Company. SOURCE United Media -0- 12/14/1999 /CONTACT: Diane Iselin, 212-293-8713, or Mary Anne Grimes, 212-293-8626, both of United Media/ /Web site: snoopy.com CO: United Media; E.W. Scripps Company ST: New York IN: ENT PUB SU: PER * end of story *