Silicon Investor (SI) -- The First Internet Community

STOCKTALK

We've detected that you're using an ad content blocking browser plug-in or feature. Ads provide a critical source of revenue to the continued operation of Silicon Investor. We ask that you disable ad blocking while on Silicon Investor in the best interests of our community. If you are not using an ad blocker but are still receiving this message, make sure your browser's tracking protection is set to the 'standard' level.

Pastimes : Procrastination -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: George S. Montgomery who wrote (123)	12/17/1999 10:52:00 PM
From: Ilaine	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 206

I went back and re-read what you posted before. I guess I feel sort of nervous about responding in kind. You're asking questions I don't want to believe I will ever have to answer. Yet I take them, and you, seriously. I don't like the idea of a colostomy bag, but shit doesn't really bother me, at least not my own. It's not the greatest thing in the world, but not the worst, either. Not that many people need them, so the odds are that you won't. As for a cane, or a walker, why not? Is it pride? Pride keeps me from admitting the truth to myself, sometimes, and then sometimes very early in the morning, too early to get up, say 4:00 a.m., I face things clearly, without pride, and sometimes I am very regretful. But I have, fresh in my mind, a recollection of not being able to stand up to walk to the bathroom without my husband's assistance. Of not being able to hook my own bra, or zip my own dress. Death never attracted me. If I had never gotten better, if I had only gotten worse, at some point, maybe it would have crossed my mind, but it didn't. At first, I was terribly embarrassed, but so what? I was semi-helpless, and grateful for the help. The transition was hard, from self-sufficient to helpless, and I was angry about it, but I accepted it, eventually. But I don't live by myself. Do you? Are you afraid of not being self-sufficient? I think this is about as deep as I can go.

To: George S. Montgomery who wrote (123)	12/19/1999 2:16:00 AM
From: Rambi	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 206

Hi George, I just happened to read this post-- no reason- it just got in the way of my mouse, and there it was. But the poor little Coach, whom I envisioned staggering along behind a walker or shuffling like Tim Conway's little old man (remember him?), caught my attention. I just posted a quickie at DAR- about my being embarrassed for people when they weren't and I wondered if you were feeling bad for someone who doesn't feel at all bad about herself. She even sounds proud! Does she enjoy the walking, or feel it at least slows the rotting and thus creates some feeling of accomplishment? Why does being able to do things less well, or losing some of your ability to be as independent as you once were in the physical sense, make you feel as if you were losing your essence. For all we know you are lying in a bed, catheterized and helpless, and typing with your nose, but you are George because of your thoughts and ideas and wit. That's the essence. Losing that is what scares me. If you talked about this elsewhere, I apologize and I'll catch up tomorrow!