Silicon Investor (SI) -- The First Internet Community

STOCKTALK

We've detected that you're using an ad content blocking browser plug-in or feature. Ads provide a critical source of revenue to the continued operation of Silicon Investor. We ask that you disable ad blocking while on Silicon Investor in the best interests of our community. If you are not using an ad blocker but are still receiving this message, make sure your browser's tracking protection is set to the 'standard' level.

Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Gary H who wrote (12884)	12/20/1999 9:47:00 PM
From: Kenneth V. McNutt	Respond to of 62549

CUTE KID SAYINGS: > > > > > > My friend likes to read his two young sons fairy tales at night. > > Having a deep-rooted sense of humor, he often ad-libs parts of the > stories > > for fun. One day his youngest son was sitting in his first grade class > > > as the teacher was reading the story of the Three Little Pigs. She > came > > to the part of the story where the first pig was trying to acquire > > building materials for his home. She said "...And so the pig went up > to > > the man with a wheelbarrow full of straw and said, 'Pardon me sir, > but > > might > > I have some of that straw to build my house with?'" Then the teacher > > asked the class "And what do you think that man said?" and my friend's > son > > raised his hand and said "I know! I know! He said 'Holy smokes! A > > talking pig!'" The teacher was unable to teach for the next 10 > minutes. > > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ > > A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her > > five and six year olds. After explaining the commandment to "honor > > thy father and thy mother," she asked "Is there a commandment that > > teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?" Without missing a > beat > > one little boy (the oldest of a family) answered, "Thou shall not > kill." > > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ > > An honest seven-year-old admitted calmly to her parents that Billy > > Brown had kissed her after class. "How did that happen?, " gasped her > > mother. "It wasn't easy," admitted the young lady, "but three girls > > helped me catch him." > > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ > > One day, a little girl is sitting and watching her mother do the > > dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly notices that her mother has > > several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette > > > head. She looks at her mother and inquisitively asks, "Why are some of > > > your > > hairs white, mom?" Her mother replied, "Well, every time that you do > > something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns > white." > > The little girl thought about this revelation for a while, and then > > said, "Momma, how come all of grandma's hairs are white?" > > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ > > The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying > > to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture. "Just think > > how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, > > 'There's Jennifer; she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael, he's a > doctor.'" > > A small voice at the back of the room rang out, "And there's the > > teacher; she's dead." > > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ > > A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying > to > > make the matter clearer, he said, "Now, boys, if I stood on my head > the > > blood, as you know, would run > > into it, and I should turn red in the face." "Yes, sir," the boys > said. > > Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary > position > > the blood doesn't run into my feet?" A little fellow shouted, "'Cause > yer > > feet ain't empty." > > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ > > For weeks, a six-year old lad kept telling his first-grade teacher > > about the baby brother or sister that was expected at his house. > > One day the mother allowed the boy to feel the movements of the > > unborn child. The six-year old was obviously impressed, but made no > > comment.Furthermore, he stopped telling his teacher about the > > impending event. The teacher finally sat the boy on her lap and said, > > > "Tommy,whatever has become of that baby brother or sister you were > > expecting at home?" Tommy burst into tears and confessed, "I think > Mommy > > ate it!" >