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Pastimes : Don't Ask Rambi -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?


To: Crocodile who wrote (43988)12/26/1999 3:16:00 PM
From: Ilaine  Read Replies (3) | Respond to of 71178
 
Today I had the strangest dream. It went on and on, too, seemingly for hours. I know it went on for quite a while because I got up to pee a couple of times, and told myself I could stop dreaming it now, please, but it wouldn't go away. And it's not easy to describe, either.

I dreamed about some things, that's what the dreams were about, a certain group of things. They came in black, or white, and they were embellished with shiny stuff, like beads and metallic thread embroidery. You could get them at Costco or BJ's, and everyone had to have them. Except that they weren't really good for anything. You could use them for attaching tails, but no one had tails. You could use them for connecting things, but nobody needed them to connect things. You were supposed to put them on the household gods, but nobody has household gods anymore. You were supposed to have them for when guests came over, but the guests didn't want them. It was just possible that they might be useful to put in your hair, but nobody actually did that.

It was the strangest dream, and it just went on and on. I kept suggesting that it stop, but it wouldn't.

I say today I had the dream because it started after the sun came up.



To: Crocodile who wrote (43988)12/26/1999 3:35:00 PM
From: Ilaine  Read Replies (2) | Respond to of 71178
 
I really can't do this justice: a web page devoted to things that bad rabbits should write on the chalkboard and say they shouldn't do. The odd thing was it turned up when I was looking for a William Morris scarf, one finds the strangest things on the Internet:

geog.utoronto.ca

A VERY small excerpt:

"[xxx] are not tasty snacks:
Bathmats, bicycle tires, bills, bits of wire, books, carpet bindings, electrical cords, fine leather handbags, fringes, items of drying laundry, leather jackets, legal documents, pants cuffs, paychecks, phone cords, plaster corners, plastic bags, printer cables, rubber tub stoppers, rugs, shoes, slipcovers, socks (being worn or not), towels, wastebaskets, waste in wastebaskets, welcome mats.

--- Annoying/Embarrassing Habits ----
After my human has been on the floor petting me for forty-five minutes, I will refrain from nudging her ankle and grunting determinedly at her in order to elicit MORE petting when she gets up to make her dinner.
As much as I love my brother, I do not need to show it to the world. Especially while on display at an Easter egg hunt so that my human has to come up with some sort of explanation for the little humans.
Being brushed to avoid hairballs is a good thing. I should not run in circles around my human to avoid it.
Being chased with a net is not a game. I will not dance like crazy, shake my head and wiggle my ears in a fit of silliness while my human is trying to catch me. (Rascal was an abandoned bunny who took me weeks to catch, as he was loose in my neighborhood park).
I am 5 pounds of rabbit. Claw trimming shouldn't take 2 days, 2 people and tranquilization (of me).
I am not a dog. I will stop tugging on shirts like a bulldog.
I do not need to pounce on everything I see.
I do not need to refuse to go to my cage for bed time till 2 in the morning.
I do not need to take over the second shelf of the bookcase also. I already have the first one.
I will accept the traditional meaning of 'no!' and quit trying to continually redefine it.
I will not actively refuse a treat, pushing it out of my cage in disgust, and then thump loudly and gnaw on my cage wire when everyone else gets one and I don't.
I will not attempt to escape my cage by climbing through the feeder.
I will not be inspired by the Bad Bunny List to repeat ALL the items on the list.
I will not disappear by fading into the shadows and then laugh at the humans when they can't find me.
I will not eat my poop then be so kind as to wash my human's face!
I will not enjoy scaring people to near death by jumping up to the the window ledge, grunting and thumping to announce my presence.
I will not escape from my cage in the middle of the night and hide out under the couch with my cousins, the dust bunnies.
I will not growl at my parents when they try to give me my medicine.
I will not hide in the closet so my human can't see me, then scare him to death when he sticks his hand in to feel around, and feels...me!
I will not hurdle the baby gate.
I will not lie down on my side with my eyes half open and imitate a dead rabbit.
I will not look really cute and snuggle into people's laps and then pee.
I will not nuzzle my human affectionately and then attack her face.
I will not openly groom my genitals in front of company.
I will not pout and throw a fit every time the slaves leave town.
I will not push open the closet door and camp out in the dirty laundry.
I will not rush at my human growling and batting with my paws when she tries to pick up my food dish. She is trying to fill it not STEAL it.
I will not run half way up the stairs, turn around, give my human a cheeky look and then run the rest of the way up, just because I know I'm not allowed up there.
I will not scare people who ring the doorbell by sitting in the parlor window, pretending I'm not real, and then standing up and grooming myself.
I will not scratch at the bedroom door to be let in when I *know* they're in there!
I will not sit on my human's sister's head when she is sleeping on the sofa bed, even if it is MY turf.
I will not sneak into the neighbor's apartment when my human isn't looking.
I will not thump at my human when she has to get her term paper done. (This also goes for peeing on the floor, biting the computer cables, grunting, and running into her feet).
I will not yodel after successfully breeding. It is bragging, and the does don't like it. (I had a French Lop who literally sang, up and down the scale, after he mated. Evidently it was genetic, since his son later did the same thing.)
I will stop conspiring to get into places with my boyfriend. I will stop engineering it so that I knock down the barrier, and he provides the mobile distraction while I devour all the oats.
I will stop giving my human bunny fingers and thumps when she pets/holds/brushes/looks at me. Or looks in my general direction.
I will stop trying to go under the house or beside the house where the sharp bushes are when I'm on my harness and leash. When my human shortens my leash so I can't go there, I will not sit and give her dirty looks and bunny fingers.
I will wear my rabbit harness without giving the impression that I am a bucking bronco and must be tackled to the floor whenever it is in plain sight.
If my human fails to release me from my cage immediately when she wakes up in the morning, I will not go temporarily insane and rip fur out of my neck for the next two hours.
If my human gives me extra petting time one day, I will not sulk if I don't get the same attention the next day.
Just because my human will not give me the cracker she is eating does not mean I have to growl and thump.
My den is NOT under the futon. If the human cleans under the futon, I do not need to lunge at her and batter the broom.
My girlfriend is for mounting, not my human's foot.
My human's forearms are not sexy.
My philosophy shouldn't be "what's yours is MINE, and what's mine is ALL MINE".
The humans do not appreciate having their hot water turned off.
There are no lost children, rabbits, adults or even planes that need help finding their way through the hall, so there is no need for me to keep "marking the trail".
We will not bite our human for no reason.
We will not zoom over to low, flat containers of wine, jam our heads in, and start drinking alcoholic beverages without my human's permission."



To: Crocodile who wrote (43988)12/26/1999 3:48:00 PM
From: Gauguin  Read Replies (2) | Respond to of 71178
 
<<<<The water is muddied by the wake of motor boats ripping along... each reckless wave eating away at the riverbank. A blue flag iris floats by... slowly spinning on the surface of the muddied water...uprooted and disoriented... as it flows out into the Rideau Lakes...

... better not to break what you can't fix...>>>>

I sometimes like to Get Clean.
Not enough times, unfortunately.
(Not enough times, goddamit, I was going to say.)

I go out into the desert near Snow Canyon in Utah, or Valley of Fire, or the Kaiparowits Plateau, to do this getting clean, and I get out of sight of everything interrupted. Man made.

And I pretend I could be alive at any time.

It could be a billion years ago, or a billion years hence.

There can be, would be, no way to know.

Then I look at my clothes, and they seem strange.

Very strange.

Of course, getting sunburnt to a crisp or dying of dehydration without a plastic bottle of water is there.....but if you keep poking me with that I'm going to smack you.

You can take off your clothes if you want, put them behind a juniper. Just be careful of your, you know, white parts.

Get detached. Jeez it's nice.

"Here I am."

"Here's me."

"Here ~ I've taken off everything that isn't me." Even my glasses. But I put them back on, after a Super-Clean bit, so I can see better.

"What am I?"

No noise. None.

No sight of cars or roads ~ nothing. Nothing is. Everything is.

This is what is.

["Wanna have sex?"]

No, really, I like it, being here, but it scares me sometimes. It's so quiet.

No data. No talking thing talking to you telling you what is.

No voice.

No objects; no pattern recognition.

You could draw a circle in the orange sand, but..... And what message would that be?

Language gradually breaks down. It's not the way you see anymore. You don't need it.

Only nature will talk to you here. And if you don't know that language, you've got trouble. I, personally, don't know that language from Adam. [!]

I would like to, know it, I think. Why don't we send me out there, and I'll see if I can tell us what it says? Anything it says?

I'll have to convert it. To pencil and paper, or laptop.

Try.

I'll put up half, you guys raise half, and we'll send an explorer out there. To listen, and talk to them. To see not what a specie collection of Rhodora and Arborea from around the world say, but to see what nature says. IF, nature says.

Some of it might be funny!

Heck! How do we know!

I really do like it out there. On about the seventh day, I can think. Sometimes, it takes til the tenth. When I first get out there, even though I know it so well, ~ when I first get out there, the quiet hurts my ears. They are listening, constantly, and we're not aware of it. Then, in the desert, where there is literally no sound (sometimes), they grind themselves, trying to pick something up. For the first several hours. When you stop to listen, and then even when you don't. It's like white noise. It is, actually painful. I make sounds, to get them a baseline. To calm them.

You can also hear the tinnitus you have created with a little too much Pete Townshend and Ninth. But that's them breaks. Part of where you come from, and no turning back.

You can see, near Valley Of Fire, (a "western" name, a "written" name), why absoriginally made marks on the desert.

What a strange thing, what a wonderful thing, that must have been. I see the marks now. But I don't hear any voices. Quiet.

Quiet.

Quiet; but symbols; but quiet.

Sometimes I wonder if it's me, back to see what I did. Back to check and see if in where I've gone since, any progress has been made. Anything learned from here.

Did we dream that we wanted to learn?

Did we care about "that?"

Did we see the potential?

Do we see it now?

Ooops. Gotta go. Wife will be home from grocery store.