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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Edwarda who wrote (12909)	12/27/1999 7:42:00 PM
From: The Philosopher	Read Replies (2) \| Respond to of 62549

Whew. I was afraid it was going to be Haydn. Beethoven we can do without. <g> And question 2 is one of those political poll questionnaires that are totally meaningless. I'm disappointed you would repeat that sort of nonsense. All it proves is that people are complex and there is good and bad in everyone. So what else is new?

To: Edwarda who wrote (12909)	12/29/1999 8:02:00 PM
From: Peter S. Maroulis	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62549

It is time to do a comparison: Beer vs. Pussy A beer is always wet. A pussy needs encouragement. Advantage: Beer. A beer tastes horrible served hot. A pussy tastes better served hot. Advantage: Pussy. Having an ice cold beer makes you satisfied. Having an ice cold pussy makes you Hillary Clinton. Advantage: Beer. Beers have commercials making fun of skunky ones. Pussy does not. Advantage: Pussy. If you get a hair in your teeth consuming pussy, you are not disgusted. Advantage: Pussy 24 beers come in a box. A pussy is a box you can come in. Advantage: Pussy. Too much head makes you mad at the person giving you a beer. Advantage: Pussy. If a beer is brewed with yeast, it is still edible. Advantage: Beer. If you come home smelling like beer, your wife may get mad. If you come home smelling like pussy, she will definitely get mad. Advantage: Beer. Six beers in a night and you better not drive. Six pussies in a night and you have done all the driving you need. Advantage: Pussy Buy too much beer and you will get fat. Buy too much pussy and you will get poor. Advantage: Pussy It is socially acceptable to have a beer in the stands at a football game. You are a legend if you have a pussy in the stands at a football game. Advantage: Pussy If a cop smells beer on your breath, you are going to get a breathalyzer. If a cop smells pussy on your breath, you are going to get a high five. Advantage: Pussy With beer, bigger is better. Advantage: beer. Wearing a condom does not make a beer any less enjoyable. Advantage: beer. Pussy can make you see God. Beer can make you see the porcelain god. Advantage: Pussy If you think all day about the next pussy you will have, you are normal. If you think all day about your next beer, you are an alcoholic. Advantage: Pussy Peeling labels off of beers is fun. Peeling panties off of pussy is more fun. Advantage: Pussy. If you try to snag a beer at work, you get fired. If you try to snag a pussy at work, you get hit with sexual harassment. Advantage: Beer. If you suddenly drop a beer, it may break. If you suddenly drop a pussy, it may hunt you down like the dog you are. Advantage: Beer. If you change to another beer, your old brand will gladly have you back. Advantage: beer. The best pussy you have ever had is not gone once you have enjoyed it. Advantage: Pussy. The worst pussy you have ever had is not gone once you have enjoyed it. Advantage: Beer. Bad beer: Schlitz, PBR, Old Swill. Bad pussy: Roseanne, Janet Reno, Madeline Albright. Advantage: Push Good beer: Samuel Adams, Moosehead, Pete's Wicked Winter Brew. Good pussy: Almost all but the above. Advantage Pussy. The government taxes beer. Advantage: Pussy. It's a close call, but the numbers never lie. Advantage: Pussy