To: James Strauss who wrote (5690 ) 12/28/1999 11:47:00 AM From: James Strauss Respond to of 13094
What To Do In An Elevator... ******************************* A little end of the Millennium levity... : > 1. Make race car noises when anyone gets on or off. 2. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering, "Shut up! All of you just shut up!" 3. Whistle the first seven notes of "It's a Small World" incessantly. 4. Sell Girl Scout cookies. 5. Sway side to side at the natural frequency of the elevator. 6. Shave. 7. Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside ask: "Got enough air in there?" 8. Offer name tags to everyone getting on the elevator. Wear yours upside-down. 9. Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall. 10. When arriving at your floor, grunt and start to yank the doors open, then act embarrassed when they open by themselves. 11. Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake and ask them to call you Admiral. 12. Stare, grinning, at another passenger for a while, and then announce: "I've got new socks on!" 13. Meow occasionally. 14. Sing "Mary had a little lamb" while continually pushing buttons. 15. Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce "You're one of them!" and move to the far corner of the elevator. 16. Ask each passenger getting on if you can push the button for them. 17. Wear a puppet on your hand and talk to other passengers "through it". 18. Start a sing-along. 19. When the elevator is silent, look around and ask "is that your beeper?" 20. Play the harmonica. 21. Shadow box. 22. Say "Ding!" at each floor. 23. Lean against the button panel. 24. Say "I wonder what all these do" and push the red buttons. 25. Listen to the elevator walls with a stethoscope. 26. Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers that this is your "personal space." 27. Bring a chair along. 28. Carry a blanket and clutch it protectively. 29. Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button. Jim