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Pastimes : Let's Talk About Our Feelings!!! -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?


To: Edwarda who wrote (71749)1/9/2000 11:33:00 AM
From: Rambi  Read Replies (4) | Respond to of 108807
 
Good morning Edwarda,

I'm watching with interest the progression of this thread and its latest developments. Personally I think the Ignore feature has greatly improved things, and may provide a sort of grace period in which people might recover their equilibrium. The level to which things had deteriorated offered no "lively and and open" discussions at all!!! (Lively, maybe, but not open?) If those on Ignore are insulting to those who they think are ignoring them, it will slow or ruin the hope of eventual reconciliation. While I'm not using the Ignore feature at the moment, being on old SI, I do skip a lot of people who I feel don't particularly like me or my writing, or who are consistently nasty, because, well, who needs the hurt.

I was a poster on the original Coffee Shop thread, even before I was here, and it had the same problems all threads have. I think this even happened before Ish was there- but LLR and I, and another oldtimer named Bob Mackey, were very active and one night Thomas and Bob and I did some silly thing that totally offended the threadmistress who decided I was white trash, (does this sound sort of like laving??) and I left the thread after being called a lot of names. I was badmouthed even after I left-- I never did figure the whole thing out and was stunned at the depth of hatred and resentment this person had apparently held for me. Most of the original posters left and new ones arrived, I assume, and the thread marched on. My vague point is just that nothing is new under the sun. I think that there are characteristics showing up in people's writings that strike different chords for readers. It actually has more to do with the reader than with the writer, whose intent wasn't at all what was read, and can leave the writer wondering "HUH? what'd I say?", and other readers wondering whether someone read the same post they did.
That may have happened with me and MM.

IMHO, if people would let disagreements stay one on one- and stop taking sides or questioning a person publicly which only leads to defensiveness, the chance of escalation would at least diminish or stay confined. ALthough, what I really believe is that many people enjoy the escalation, the adrenaline rush, the verbal jousting and look forward to it.

Well, that was just my Sunday morning rambling.