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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: E who wrote (13059)	1/17/2000 8:02:00 PM
From: Edwarda	Respond to of 62569

ROFL! Some of them may be old, but they are classic and should not be forgotten! Here's one that has made the rounds but is still capable of eliciting a chuckle: TOP TEN REASONS WHY E-MAIL IS LIKE A PENIS 10. Those who have it would be devastated if it were ever cut off. 9. Those who have it think that those who don't are somehow inferior. 8. Those who don't have it may agree that it's neat but think it's not worth the fuss that those who have it make about it. 7. Many of those who don't have it would like to try it, a phenomenon psychologists call "E-mail Envy." 6. It's more fun when it's up, but this makes it hard to get any real work done. 5. In the distant past, its only purpose was to transmit information vital to the survival of the species. Some people still think that's the only thing it should be used for, but most folks today use it mostly for fun. 4. If you don't take proper precautions, it can spread viruses. 3. We attach an importance to it that is far greater than its actual size and influence warrant. 2. If you're not careful what you do with it, it can get you into a lot of trouble. And the number one reason why E-mail is like a penis... : : : 1. If you play with it too much, you'll go blind.

To: E who wrote (13059)	1/17/2000 11:25:00 PM
From: Edwarda	Respond to of 62569

Abbott and Costello's "Who's on First?" Costello: Hey, Abbott! Abbott: Yes, Lou? Costello: I just got my first computer. Abbott: That's great Lou. What did you get? Costello: A Pentium II-266, with 40 Megs of RAM, a 2.1 Gig hard drive, and a 24X CD-ROM. Abbott: That's terrific, Lou Costello: But I don't know what any of it means!! Abbott: You will in time. Costello: That's exactly why I am here to see you. Abbott: Oh? Costello: I heard that you are a real computer expert. Abbott: Well, I don't know- Costello: Yes-sir-ee. You know your stuff. And you're going to train me. Abbott: Really? Costello: Uh huh. And I am here for my first lesson. Abbott: O.K. Lou. What do want to know? Costello: I am having no problem turning it on, but I heard that you should be very careful how you turn it off. Abbott: That's true. Costello: So, here I am working on my new computer and I want to turn it off. What do I do? Abbott: Well, first you press the Start button, and then-Costello: No, I told you, I want to turn it off. Abbott: I know, you press the Start button- Costello: Wait a second. I want to turn it off. Off. I know how to start it. So tell me what to do. Abbott: I did. Costello: When? Abbott: When I told you to press the Start button. Costello: Why should I press the Start button? Abbott: To shut off the computer. Costello: I press Start to stop. Abbott: Well Start doesn't actually stop the computer. Costello: I knew it! So what do I press. Abbott: Start Costello: Start what? Abbott: Start button. Costello: Start button to do what? Abbott: Shut down. Costello: You don't have to get rude! Abbott: No, no, no! That's not what I meant. Costello: Then say what you mean. Abbott: To shut down the computer, press- Costello: Don't say, "Start!" Abbott: Then what do you want me to say? Costello: Look, if I want to turn off the computer, I am willing to press the Stop button, the End button and Cease and Desist button, but no one in their right mind presses the Start to Stop. Abbott: But that's what you do. Costello: And you probably Go at Stop signs, and Stop at green lights. Abbott: Don't be ridiculous. Costello: I am being ridiculous? Well. I think it's about time we started this conversion. Abbott: What are you talking about? Costello: I am starting this conversation right now. Good-bye.