Silicon Investor (SI) -- The First Internet Community

STOCKTALK

We've detected that you're using an ad content blocking browser plug-in or feature. Ads provide a critical source of revenue to the continued operation of Silicon Investor. We ask that you disable ad blocking while on Silicon Investor in the best interests of our community. If you are not using an ad blocker but are still receiving this message, make sure your browser's tracking protection is set to the 'standard' level.

Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: jgibbs who wrote (13068)	1/17/2000 11:17:00 PM
From: Edwarda	Respond to of 62549

Another probable rerun: GREATER LOS ANGELES AREA DRIVER'S LICENSE APPLICATION: Name: ____________________ Stage name: __________________________ Agent's Name: __________________________ Attorney's Name: _______________________ Actual Age: _____ Admitted Age: _____ Sex: [ ] male [ ] female [ ] formerly male [ ] formerly female [ ] both [ ] neither If female, indicate breast implant size: _______ Will the size of your implants hinder your ability to safely operate a motor vehicle in any way? Yes [ ] No [ ] Occupation: [ ] Lawyer [ ] Actor/Waiter [ ] Film-maker/Self-employed [ ] Writer [ ] Car Dealer [ ] Pan-handler [ ] Agent [ ] Hooker/Transvestite [ ] Other; please explain: ___________________________ Please list brand of cell phone: ________________________ (If you don't own a cell phone, please explain.) Please check hair color: Females: [ ] Blonde [ ] Platinum Blonde Teenagers: [ ] Purple [ ] Blue [ ] Skin-head Men: Please list shade of hair plugs ________________ Please indicate if you have Automobile Insurance: [ ] Yes [ ] No If Yes, please explain: Please check activities you perform while driving (Check all that apply): [ ] Eating a wrap [ ] Applying make-up [ ] Talking on the phone [ ] Slapping kids in the back seat [ ] Applying cellulite treatment to thighs [ ] Tanning [X] Snorting cocaine (already checked for ease of application) [ ] Watching TV [ ] Reading Variety [ ] Surfing the net via laptop [ ] Reading a book or other Newspaper Please indicate how many times: a) you expect to shoot at other drivers, _____ b) and how many times you expect to be shot at while driving ____. If you are the victim of a car-jacking, you should immediately: a) [ ] Call the police to report the crime; b) [ ] Call Channel 4 News to report the crime, then watch your TV; c) [ ] Call your attorney and discuss lawsuit against cellular phone company for 911 call not going through; d) [ ] Call your therapist; e) [ ] None of the above (South Central residents only). Please indicate if you drive: a) [ ] a BMW, b) [ ] a Lexus, c) [ ] a Mercedes, d) [ ] a Cabriolet. If your answer is d, please add 6 to 8 weeks to normal delivery time for your driver's license. In the event of an earthquake, should you: a) [ ] stop your car b) [ ] keep driving and hope for the best, c) [ ] immediately use your cell phone to call all loved ones, or d) [ ] pull out your video camera and obtain footage for Channel 4? In the instance of rain, you should: a) [ ] never drive over 5 MPH, b) [ ] drive twice as fast as usual, or c) [ ] you're not sure what "rain" is. Please indicate number of therapy sessions per week: ____. Are you presently taking any of the following medications? (Check all that apply.) a) [ ] Prozac; b) [ ] Zovirax; c) [ ] Lithium; d) [ ] Zanax. If none, please explain: __________________. Length of daily commute: a) [ ] 1 hour; b) [ ] 2 hours; c) [ ] 3 hours; d) [ ] 4 hours or more. If under 1 hour, please explain: When stopped by police, should you a) [ ] pull over and have your driver's license and insurance form ready, b) [ ] try to outrun them by driving the wrong way on the 405, c) [ ] have video camera ready and provoke them to attack, thus ensuring yourself of a hefty lawsuit?