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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: SIer formerly known as Joe B. who wrote (13169)	1/24/2000 11:16:00 AM
From: The Philosopher	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62562

I think this was on the thread before, but a long while back. It poposed up again and still struck me as funny. It's the Spring of 1957 and Bobby goes to pick up his date. He's a pretty hip guy with his own car. When he goes to the front door, the girl's father answers and invites him in. Carrie's not ready yet, so why don't you have a seat?" he asks.That's cool," says Bobby. Carrie's father asks Bobby what they're planning to do. Bobby replies politely that they will probably just go to the soda shop or a movie. Carrie's father responds, "Why don't you two go out and screw? I hear all the kids are doing it." Naturally, this comes as a quite a surprise to Bobby, so he asks Carrie's Dad to repeat it. "Yeah," says Carries father, "Carrie really likes to screw, she'll screw all night if we let her!" Well, this just made Bobby's eyes light up, and immediately revised his plans for the evening. A few minutes later, Carrie comes downstairs in her little poodle skirt and announces that she's ready to go. Almost breathless with anticipation, Bobby escorts his date out the front door. About 20 minutes later, a thoroughly disheveled Carrie rushes back into the house, slams the door behind her, and screams at her father: "DAMMIT, DAD ! THE TWIST!! ..... IT'S CALLED THE TWIST !!!"

To: SIer formerly known as Joe B. who wrote (13169)	1/24/2000 12:39:00 PM
From: Peter S. Maroulis	Respond to of 62562

"Toilet Predicament" A man decided to paint the toilet while his wife was away to. His wife came home sooner than he expected, used the toilet, and got the seat stuck to her rear. She was understandably distraught about this and asked her husband to drive her to the doctor. She put a large overcoat on to cover the seat before they went. When they got to the doctor's office, the man lifted his wife's coat to show him their predicament. The man asked, "Doctor, have you ever seen anything like this before?" "Well, yes," the doctor replied, "but never framed."

To: SIer formerly known as Joe B. who wrote (13169)	1/24/2000 6:34:00 PM
From: SteveJerseyShore	Respond to of 62562

More Dick Jokes; An American In Jamaica... A young man truly in love with his girlfriend decided to have her name tattooed on his penis, her name was Wendy, and the tattoo was done while the penis was erect, so when it was not erect all you could see was W Y. Shortly after the couple was married and they were honeymooning in Jamaica, the man was in a bathroom in Jamaica, and standing next to him was a Jamaican man who also had a W Y on his penis. The American said to him "Oh is your girl named Wendy too?" The Jamaican replied, "No, Mon that says, 'Welcome To Jamaica Have a Nice Day'". --------------------------------------------------------------------- This guy walks into a bar and two steps in, he realizes it's a gay bar but decides, "What the heck, I really want a drink." When the gay waiter approaches he says to the customer, "What's the name of your penis?". The customer says, "Look, I'm not into any of that. All I want is a drink". The gay waiter says, "I'm sorry but I can't serve you until you tell me the name of your penis." So the customer asks the man sitting to his left who is sipping on a beer and asks, "Hey bud, what's the name of your penis?" The man to left, with a smile, looks back and says, "TIMEX." The thirsty customer asks, "Why Timex?" The fella proudly replies, "Cause it takes a lickin' and keeps on tickin'!" A little shaken, the customer turns to the fella on his right sipping on a fruity marguerita. "So, what do you call your penis?" The man to his right turns to him and prouldly exclaims, "FORD, because quality is Job 1," Then adds, "Have you driven a Ford, lately?" Even more shaken, the customer has to think for a moment before he comes up with a name for his penis. He turns to the bartender and exclaims, "The name of my penis is 'Secret'. Now give me my beer." The bartender begins to pour the customer a beer, but with a puzzled look asks, "Why secret?" The customer says "Strong enough for a man but made for a woman."