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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Karen Lawrence who wrote (13206)	1/26/2000 1:43:00 AM
From: Chris K.	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62562

*IF MEN TRULY* RAN THE WORLD...** Breaking up would be a lot easier. A smack to the butt and a "Nice hustle, you'll get'em next time" would pretty much do it. Birth control would come in ale or lager. And condoms would be available in a wider range of sizes, and taste and/or smell better too. Valentine's Day would be moved to February 29th so it would only occur in leap years. - Also wedding anniversary's and wife's birthdays would be on this day too On Groundhog Day, if you saw your shadow, you'd get the day off to go drinking.....Mother's Day too. Garbage would take itself out. The only show opposite "Monday Night Football" would be "Monday Night Football from a Different Camera Angle". Tanks would be far easier to rent. When a cop gave you a ticket, every smart-aleck answer you responded with would actually reduce your fine as in: Cop: "You know how fast you were going?" You: "All I know is, I was spilling my beer all over the place." Cop: "Nice one, that's $10.00 off". People would never talk about how fresh they felt. Every man would get four real "Get Out of Jail Free" cards per year. And monopoly money would be valid currancy in the local liquor store Telephones would cut off after 30 seconds of conversation. Instead of a fancy, expensive engagement ring, you could present your wife-to-be with a giant foam hand that said "You're #1!". When your girlfriend really needed to talk to you during the game, she'd appear in a little box in the corner of the screen during a time-out. Nodding and looking at your watch would be deemed as an acceptable response to "I love you". Lifeguards could remove citizens from beaches for violating the "public ugliness" ordinance. Hallmark would make "Sorry, what was your name again?" cards. Having a beer gut would be the number one reason a girl would be interested in going out with you... Personality and looks would not matter to them. Political correctness would be illegal.