Silicon Investor (SI) -- The First Internet Community

STOCKTALK

We've detected that you're using an ad content blocking browser plug-in or feature. Ads provide a critical source of revenue to the continued operation of Silicon Investor. We ask that you disable ad blocking while on Silicon Investor in the best interests of our community. If you are not using an ad blocker but are still receiving this message, make sure your browser's tracking protection is set to the 'standard' level.

Pastimes : Happy Hour: A thread for not so intelligent discussions -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Barney who wrote (2182)	1/29/2000 9:16:00 PM
From: Susie924	Respond to of 2380

Subject: Heaven > > > After a long illness, a woman died and arrived at the Gates of Heaven. > While she was waiting for Saint Peter to greet her, she peeked through > the Gates. She saw a beautiful banquet table. Sitting all around were > her parents and all the other people she had loved and who had died > before her. They saw her and began calling greetings to her- "Hello" > "How are you! We've been waiting for you!" "Good to see you." > > When Saint Peter came by, the woman said to him ,"This is such a > wonderful place! How do I get in?" > > "You have to spell a word," Saint Peter told her. > > "Which word?", the woman asked. > > "Love." > > The woman correctly spelled "Love" and Saint Peter welcomed her into > Heaven. > > About six months later, Saint Peter came to the woman and asked her to > watch the Gates of Heaven for him that day. While the woman was guarding > the Gates of Heaven, her husband arrived. > > "I'm surprised to see you," the woman said. "How have you been?" > > "Oh, I've been doing pretty well since you died," her husband told her. > "I married the beautiful young nurse who took care of you while you were > ill. And then I won the lottery. I sold the little house you and I lived > in and bought a big mansion. And my wife and I traveled all around the > world. We were on vacation and I went water skiing today. I fell, the > ski hit my head, and here I am. How do I get in?" > > "You have to spell a word," the woman told him. > > "Which word?", her husband asked. > > "Czechoslovakia."

To: Barney who wrote (2182)	1/29/2000 9:25:00 PM
From: Susie924	Read Replies (5) \| Respond to of 2380

Charlie was a regular visitor at the racetrack. One afternoon he noticed an unusual sight. Right before the first race, a Catholic priest visited one of the horses in the stable area and gave it a blessing. Charlie watched the horse race very carefully, and sure enough the blessed horse came in first! Charlie followed the priest before the next race, and again he went to the stables and performed a similar procedure. Charlie played hunch and put a couple of dollars on the blessed horse. Sure enough the blessed horse came in by two lengths and Charlie won close to fifty bucks! The priest continued the same procedure through the next few races and Charlie won each time. He was now ahead $1,000, so between races Charlie left the track and went to the bank and withdraw his life's savings $20,000. The biggest race of the day was the last one. Charlie followed the priest and watched carefully which horse he blessed. He then went to the betting window and put his whole $21,000 bundle of cash on that horse to win. Then Charlie went out to watch the horses race. Down the stretch they came, and as they crossed the finish line, the horse Charlie's fortune was bet on was dead last! Charlie was crushed. He located the priest and told him that he had been watching him bless the horses all day, and they all became winners except the last horse on which he had bet his life savings.Charlie then asked, "What happened to the last horse which you blessed? Why didn't it win like the others?" "That's the trouble with you Protestants," sighed the priest. "You can never tell the difference between a blessing and the last rites."