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Pastimes : Let's Talk About Our Feelings!!! -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?


To: Rambi who wrote (73296)1/30/2000 11:23:00 AM
From: Edwarda  Read Replies (1) | Respond to of 108807
 
Thank you, Penni, for your sensitive and thoughtful posting! When my mother was dying and, more recently, when my uncle was dying, I had ample opportunity to watch the behavior of the aides. Some were inadequate, but most were sincerely trying to help ease the strain and maintain the dying person's dignity. It showed up most with my uncle, who was often irrational and verbally abusive: The aides understood and were so very kind. When he was hospitalized and signed himself out AMA, the private nurse was so concerned that she accompanied him home and stayed until we could get an aide; she was exhausted by the time she left because it amounted to a double shift, yet she wouldn't even take payment for the extra time and the only way I could get her to take a cab home was to hail it and bundle us both into it.

I have to say the same of the hospice where a close friend stayed until her death of a brain tumor. She could not have had more loving care from her immediate family.

There are some horrible abuses. Some terrible things do happen. However, we cannot dismiss all the good people in the system who give so much and do so much. What happened to Alexander's daughter is shameful and wicked by her account. There is also remarkable goodness and caring among people in the healthcare field and I am sorry that Alexander has not seen more of it.



To: Rambi who wrote (73296)1/30/2000 12:00:00 PM
From: Ish  Read Replies (1) | Respond to of 108807
 
<<and the fierce independence and determination of people to stay in their homes no matter what, is impressive and moving >>

My neighbor's mother is an example of that. But she has a reason to not give up her home. In her mind she only becomes terminal when she doesn't have a place to return to.

On the other hand some of these small town homes are like a reunion. When a person goes in they are among the same people they have lived with. They probably have been going there for years for card games.

<<One of the greatest problems I see is that for the very rich, all services can be bought, for the truly poor, they are free, and it's the middleclass that suffers, those with a few hard-earned assets, a home of their own, a little savings, some land. >>

That's one reason people tend to dispose of their possessions as they age. Give it to the kids while they can because in the end most will eat up all their assets and wind up on medicare. I had a nursing home supervisor tell me to do that with my mother-in-law. Didn't matter as the church had gotten everything she had. My grandmother spent years in a home and flat ate up 280 acres of land that is worth $3,000 per acre today. Back in those days there were no assistance programs and when you went broke it was off to the county home.



To: Rambi who wrote (73296)1/30/2000 3:13:00 PM
From: Grainne  Read Replies (4) | Respond to of 108807
 
Hi, Penni! You worked for the government? Oh, dear, that will not please some of our more conservative posters! But I do agree completely with your post. Nothing is as black or white as it seems, is it? In fact, with the possible exception of the spanking issue, about which I know we disagree, and global warming, of course, almost everything is some shade of grey.

I am very sorry not to have been around lately. Several weeks ago my computer crashed. Since I know lots of techies I asked one of them to repair it, but Mr. Christine neglected to tell me that the Quick Restore disc which should have come with our computer was missing, and so my friend the inexpensive repairperson spent weeks, with our help, loading and reloading 21 floppies and a boot disc, without ever getting the operating system back. It was only when we wandered into CompUsa dreaming of buying the coolest iMac that I went to the service window and discovered that such a thing existed. Then it took another week to have one sent.

So I am finally back online, after a very disorienting experience of trying to get online at work and being told that my password was not correct. I forgot one very minor character, which will make for a very humorous senior moment later, but was not funny while it was happening. Now that we have loaded the newest version of our online service, Windows 98 and Norton Antivirus, there is not enough memory to run them all, and so when I type nothing happens, and the letters spew out many seconds later. This is very frustrating, and so the computer is off to the computer store for memory doubling. I am not sure if that is going to happen today or tomorrow, but at the same time I am dropping by to say hello, I am not sure whether I can come back and post some more later (slowly), or not.

Anyway, I hope everyone is well and happy, and not too cantankerous around here!