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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Edwarda who wrote (13356)	2/7/2000 8:37:00 AM
From: Peter S. Maroulis	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62562

The NYC School Board has officially declared Jewish English a secondlanguage. Backers of the move say the district is the first in the nation to recognize Hebronics as the language of many American Jews. Look for other cities to follow suit, notably Miami Beach, Los Angeles and Scarsdale. In Hebronics, questions are always answered with questions: Question: "How do you feel?" Hebronics response: "How should I feel?" The subject is often placed at the end of a sentence after a pronoun has been used at the beginning: "She dances beautifully, that girl." The sarcastic repetition of words by adding "sh" to the front is used for emphasis: mountains becomes "shmountains"; turtle becomes shmurtle." (mountains-shmountains / turtle-shmurtle) These common phrases were translated from "Standard English" to Hebonics: English: "Sorry, I don't know the time." Hebronics: "What do I look like, a clock?" English: "I hope things turn out okay." Hebronics: "You should BE so lucky!" English: "I see you're wearing one of the ties I gave you." Hebronics: "What's the matter, the other tie you didn't like? English: "That's a very pretty girl." Hebronics: "She could stand to gain a few pounds." English: "May I take your plate, sir?" Hebronics: "You've hardly touched your food. What's the matter,something's wrong with it?" English: "It's been so long since you've called." Hebronics: "You didn't wonder if I'm dead yet?" English: "Let's go riding." Hebronics: "Riding, shmiding! Do I look like a cowboy?" English: "It's a nice day." Hebronics: "At least it's not raining." English: "Happy birthday." Hebronics: "You should only become a year smarter." English: "I feel good." Hebronics: "Things could be a lot worse." English: "Happy New Year!" Hebronics: "Another year, God willing!"