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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: SIer formerly known as Joe B. who wrote (13447)	2/15/2000 2:50:00 PM
From: Calvin Scott	Respond to of 62549

Pilot to tower . . . pilot to tower . . . I am 300 miles from land . . . . . 600 feet over water . . . and running out of fuel . . . please instruct! Tower to pilot . . . tower to pilot . . . repeat after me: “Our Father, which art in heaven ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ TOP 10 SIGNS YOUR PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATE IS UNDER-QUALIFIED 10. Promises to improve foreign relations with Hawaii. 9. Runs a series of attack ads against Martin Sheen's character on “The West Wing.” 8. His #1 choice to work on his cabinet is “That Bob Vila guy.” 7. Outstanding record as Governor of Rhode Island nullified by the fact that no one really cares. 6. Got his degree in Political Economics by bribing Sally Struthers with a chocolate donut. 5. Anybody mentions Washington, he asks, “The state or the DC thingie?” 4. At the debates, answers every question with a snarled, “You wanna wrestle?!?” 3. Vows to put an end to the war in Pokemon and free the Pikachu refugees once and for all. 2. Says the Pledge of Allegiance as quickly as possible, then shouts, “I win!” ..and the Number 1 Sign Your Presidential Candidate Is Under-Qualified.. 1. On the very first question of the debate, he attempts to use a LIFELINE. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ A Scotsman was at the World Series game in the Bronx one evening. It was his first day in this country and the first time he had ever seen baseball played. The leadoff batter approached the plate and took a few practice hacks and then hit a double on the first pitch. Everyone leapt to their feet shouting “RUN...RUN...” This happened a couple of more times with a single and a triple. The Scotsman was now excited and really getting into the game. The next batter walked on four consecutive pitches and the homeplate umpire shouted “Walk!” and the batter started a slow trot down the first baseline. The Scotsman, extremely excited stands and screams “R-R-R-Run ye baaassstaaard, rrrun! “ as everyone around him starts to laugh. Extremely embarassed, the Scotsman sat back down and a friendly fan, seeing his dejection, leaned and said “He can't run --- He's got four balls.” And, with that - The Scotsman stood up again and screamed “Walk with pride, laddie...Walk with pride!”