Silicon Investor (SI) -- The First Internet Community

STOCKTALK

We've detected that you're using an ad content blocking browser plug-in or feature. Ads provide a critical source of revenue to the continued operation of Silicon Investor. We ask that you disable ad blocking while on Silicon Investor in the best interests of our community. If you are not using an ad blocker but are still receiving this message, make sure your browser's tracking protection is set to the 'standard' level.

Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: dewey holland who wrote (13531)	2/22/2000 11:22:00 AM
From: Roads End	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62559

The Top 5 Sexual Jokes of 1999 > > > > > >Number five > > > >A man bumps into a Woman in a hotel lobby and as he does, his elbow goes > >into her breast. They are both quite startled. > >The man turns to her and says, "Ma'am, if your heart is as soft as your > >breast, I know you'll forgive me." > >She replies, "If your dick is as hard as your elbow, I'm in room 221." > > > >--------------------------------------------- > >Number four > > > >A businessman boards a flight and is seated next to a gorgeous woman. He > >notices she is reading a manual about sexual statistics. He asks her about > >it and she replies, "This is a very interesting book. It says that American > > >Indians have the longest penises and Irish men have the biggest diameter > >penises. By the way, my name is Jill. What's yours?" > >"Tonto Monaghan, nice to meet you." > > > >-------------------------------------------- > >Number three > > > >One night, as a couple lays down for bed, the husband started rubbing his > >wife's arm. > > > >The wife turns over and says: "I'm sorry honey, I've got a gynecologist > >appointment tomorrow and I want to stay fresh." > >The husband, rejected, turns over. A few minutes later, he rolls back over > >and taps his wife again. "Do you have a dentist appointment tomorrow too?" > > > >-------------------------------------------- > >Number two > > > >Bill worked in a pickle factory. He had been employed there for a number > >of years when he came home one day to confess to his wife that he had a > >terrible compulsion. He had an urge to stick his penis into the pickle > >slicer. His wife suggested that he should see a sex therapist to talk > >about it, but Bill said he would be too embarrassed. > >He vowed to overcome the compulsion on his own. One day a few weeks later, > >Bill came home. His wife could see at once that something was seriously > >wrong. > >"What's wrong, Bill?" she asked. "Do you remember that I told you how I had > > >this tremendous urge to put my penis into the pickle slicer?" > >"Oh, Bill, you didn't." "Yes, I did." "My God, Bill, what happened?" "I got > > >fired." "No, Bill. I mean, what happened with the pickle slicer?" > >"Oh...she got fired too." > > > >-------------------------------------------- > >Number one > > > >A couple had been married for 50 years. They were sitting at the breakfast > >table one morning when the wife says, "Just think, fifty years ago we were > >sitting here at this breakfast table together." > >"I know,"the old man said, "We were probably sitting here naked as jaybirds > > >fifty years ago." > >"Well," Granny snickered, "Let's relive some old times." Where upon the two > > >stripped to the buff and sat down at the table. > >"You know, honey," the little old lady breathlessly replied, "My nipples > >are as hot for you today as they were fifty years ago. > >"I wouldn't be surprised," replied Gramps. "One's in your coffee and the > >other is in your oatmeal." > >