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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Karen Lawrence who wrote (13563)	2/24/2000 5:02:00 PM
From: John Carragher	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62552

You're getting old when you don't care where your spouse goes, just as long as you don't have to go along. Statistics show that at the age of seventy, there are five women to every man. Isn't that an ironic time for a guy to get those odds? Middle age is when it takes longer to rest than to get tired. By the time a man is wise enough to watch his step, he's too old to go anywhere. Middle age is when you have stopped growing at both ends, and have begun to grow in the middle. A man has reached middle age when he is cautioned to slow down by his doctor instead of by the police. Middle age is having a choice of two temptations and choosing the one that will get you home earlier. You know you're into middle age when you realize that caution is the only thing you care to exercise. At my age, "getting a little action" means I don't need to take a laxative. I have found at my age that going bra-less pulls all the wrinkles out of my face. The aging process could be slowed down if it had to work its way through Congress. You're getting old when "getting lucky" means you find your car in the parking lot. You're getting old when your wife gives up sex for Lent, and you don't know till the 4th of July. You're getting old when you wake up with that morning-after feeling, and you didn't do anything the night before. The cardiologist's diet: if it tastes good, spit it out. It's hard to be nostalgic when you can't remember anything.