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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: PAshmore who wrote (13602)	2/27/2000 9:01:00 PM
From: SIer formerly known as Joe B.	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62549

I wanted to have red lentils for dinner but did not like the recipe on the bag so I looked for another on the internet. I found this one: Red Lentil Burgers foodwine.com Ingredients: 1-1/2 cups red lentils 1 carrot 2 celery stalks 1 small onion 1 minced garlic clove 1 cup breadcrumbs 1 handful finely chopped parsley 1/2 to 1 tsp. curry powder Salt and freshly ground pepper to taste 1/4 tsp. grated lemon rind Olive oil for frying Special tools: Food processor, optional Preparation: Cover the lentils with water and cook for 10-12 minutes over moderate heat. While cooking, saut‚ the vegetables. (All the vegetables can be chopped in a food processor with a steel blade using the pulse button). When the lentils are tender, drain them. Pur‚e half the lentils and set aside. Mix the other half of the lentils into the vegetables and add some of the breadcrumbs and mix until you get a homogenous mixture. It may be necessary to add more breadcrumbs to achieve this. Shape the mixture into 4 patties and coat with breadcrumbs. Fry in olive oil, about 5 minutes per side, over moderate heat. Season with salt and pepper and serve at once. Serving suggestion: Serve with oven-roasted potatoes with shallots and a simple salad. Serves 4. Can someone please tell what do with the lentils I set aside!

To: PAshmore who wrote (13602)	2/27/2000 9:07:00 PM
From: Phil(bullrider)	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62549

A new guy in town walks into a bar and notices a very large jar behind the bar. It's filled to the brim with ten dollar bills. The man guesses there must be thousands of dollars there. He approaches the bartender and asks him, "What's up with the jar?" The bartender tells him, "Well, you pay ten dollars and if you pass three tests then you get all of the money." "What are the three tests?" "Pay first. Those are the rules." So the guy gives him the ten bucks and the bartender adds it to the jar with the other bills. Bartender: "OK, here's what you have to do....First you have to drink that whole gallon of pepper tequila, the WHOLE thing at once AND, you can't make a face while doing it. Second, there's a pit bull chained up out back with a sore tooth...you have to remove it with your bare hands. Third, there's a 90 year old woman upstairs who's never had an orgasm in her life. You gotta make things right for her." The man responds, "Well, I know I've paid my ten bucks but I'm not an idiot, I can't do all that... it's impossible! "Well, you asked, and I told you... those are the rules, and your money stays in the jar." Well, as time goes on and the man drinks a few, he asks, "Wherez zat teeqeelah?" He grabs the gallon of tequila with both hands, and downs it with a big slurp. Tears are streaming down his cheeks but he does not make a face. Next he staggers out back and soon all the people inside hear a huge scuffle going on. They hear barking, screams, yelps and growling, and eventually silence. Just when they think the man must surely be dead, he staggers back into the bar, with his shirt ripped to shreds and big scratches all over his body. "Now," he says, "where's that woman with the sore tooth?"