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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: The Philosopher who wrote (13636)	2/29/2000 1:02:00 PM
From: Karen Lawrence	Read Replies (2) \| Respond to of 62552

I'm sure you've seen this before. Here it is again: This is TOO COOL!!!! 30 second quiz-a must!! Don't jump to the answer, just scroll down. Take this test mentally, don't write down your answers, and don't shout them out. 1. Pick a number from 2 to 9. It can be 2 or it can be 9, or any number in between. > > > > > > > >>> > > > > > > > > > >>>>>>> > > > > > > > >>> > > > > > > > > > >>>>>>> > > > > > > > >>> > > > > > > > > > >>>>>>> > > > > > > > >>> > > > > > > > > > >>>>>>> > > > > > > > >>> > > > > > > > > > >>>>>>> > > > > > > > >>> > > > > > > > > > >>>>>>> > > > > > > > >>> > > > > > > > > > >>>>>>> > > > > > > > >>> > > > > > > > > > >>>>>>> > > > > > > > >>> > > > > > > > > > >>>>>>> > > > > > > > >>> > > > > > > > > > >>>>>>> > > > > > > > >>> > > > > > > > > > >>>>>>> > > > > > > > >>> > > > > > > > > > >>>>>>> > > > > > > > >>> > > > > > > > > > >>>>>>> > > > > > > > >>> > > > > > > > > > >>>>>>> > > > > > > > >>> > > > > > > > > > >>>>>>> > > > > > > > >>> > > > > > > > > > >>>>>>> > > > > > > > >>> > > > > > > > > > >>>>>>> > > > > > > > >>> > > > > > > > > > >>>>>>> > > > > > > > >>> > > > > > > > > > >>>>>>> 2. Take that number that you've chosen, and multiply it by 9. > > > > > > > >>> > > > > > > > > > >>>>>>> > > > > > > > >>> > > > > > > > > > >>>>>>> > > > > > > > >>> > > > > > > > > > >>>>>>> > > > > > > > >>> > > > > > > > > > >>>>>>> > > > > > > > >>> > > > > > > > > > >>>>>>> > > > > > > > >>> > > > > > > > > > >>>>>>> > > > > > > > >>> > > > > > > > > > >>>>>>> > > > > > > > >>> > > > > > > > > > >>>>>>> > > > > > > > >>> > > > > > > > > > >>>>>>> > > > > > > > >>> > > > > > > > > > >>>>>>> > > > > > > > >>> > > > > > > > > > >>>>>>> > > > > > > > >>> > > > > > > > > > >>>>>>> > > > > > > > >>> > > > > > > > > > >>>>>>> > > > > > > > >>> > > > > > > > > > >>>>>>> > > > > > > > >>> > > > > > > > > > >>>>>>> > > > > > > > >>> > > > > > > > > > >>>>>>> > > > > > > > >>> > > > > > > > > > >>>>>>> > > > > > > > >>> > > > > > > > > > >>>>>>> > > > > > > > >>> > > > > > > > > > >>>>>>> 3. That should give you a two digit number. Take those two digits and add them together. > > > > > > > >>> > > > > > > > > > >>>>>>> > > > > > > > >>> > > > > > > > > > >>>>>>> > > > > > > > >>> > > > > > > > > > >>>>>>> > > > > > > > >>> > > > > > > > > > >>>>>>> > > > > > > > >>> > > > > > > > > > >>>>>>> > > > > > > > >>> > > > > > > > > > >>>>>>> > > > > > > > >>> > > > > > > > > > >>>>>>> > > > > > > > >>> > > > > > > > > > >>>>>>> > > > > > > > >>> > > > > > > > > > >>>>>>> > > > > > > > >>> > > > > > > > > > >>>>>>> > > > > > > > >>> > > > > > > > > > >>>>>>> > > > > > > > >>> > > > > > > > > > >>>>>>> > > > > > > > >>> > > > > > > > > > >>>>>>> > > > > > > > >>> > > > > > > > > > >>>>>>> > > > > > > > >>> > > > > > > > > > >>>>>>> > > > > > > > >>> > > > > > > > > > >>>>>>> > > > > > > > >>> > > > > > > > > > >>>>>>> > > > > > > > >>> > > > > > > > > > >>>>>>> > > > > > > > >>> > > > > > > > > > >>>>>>> > > > > > > > >>> > > > > > > > > > >>>>>>> > > > > > > > >>> > > > > > > > > > >>>>>>> > > > > > > > >>> > > > > > > > > > >>>>>>> 4. Take the resulting number and subtract 5 from it. > > > > > > > >>> > > > > > > > > > >>>>>>> > > > > > > > >>> > > > > > > > > > >>>>>>> > > > > > > > >>> > > > > > > > > > >>>>>>> > > > > > > > >>> > > > > > > > > > >>>>>>> > > > > > > > >>> > > > > > > > > > >>>>>>> > > > > > > > >>> > > > > > > > > > >>>>>>> > > > > > > > >>> > > > > > > > > > >>>>>>> > > > > > > > >>> > > > > > > > > > >>>>>>> > > > > > > > >>> > > > > > > > > > >>>>>>> > > > > > > > >>> > > > > > > > > > >>>>>>> > > > > > > > >>> > > > > > > > > > >>>>>>> > > > > > > > >>> > > > > > > > > > >>>>>>> > > > > > > > >>> > > > > > > > > > >>>>>>> > > > > > > > >>> > > > > > > > > > >>>>>>> > > > > > > > >>> > > > > > > > > > >>>>>>> > > > > > > > >>> > > > > > > > > > >>>>>>> > > > > > > > >>> > > > > > > > > > >>>>>>> > > > > > > > >>> > > > > > > > > > >>>>>>> > > > > > > > >>> > > > > > > > > > >>>>>>> > > > > > > > >>> > > > > > > > > > >>>>>>> 5. Take that number and correspond it to the alphabet, numbering the letters. A =1, B=2, C=3, and so on. > > > > > > > >>> > > > > > > > > > >>>>>>> > > > > > > > >>> > > > > > > > > > >>>>>>> > > > > > > > >>> > > > > > > > > > >>>>>>> > > > > > > > >>> > > > > > > > > > >>>>>>> > > > > > > > >>> > > > > > > > > > >>>>>>> > > > > > > > >>> > > > > > > > > > >>>>>>> > > > > > > > >>> > > > > > > > > > >>>>>>> > > > > > > > >>> > > > > > > > > > >>>>>>> > > > > > > > >>> > > > > > > > > > >>>>>>> > > > > > > > >>> > > > > > > > > > >>>>>>> > > > > > > > >>> > > > > > > > > > >>>>>>> > > > > > > > >>> > > > > > > > > > >>>>>>> > > > > > > > >>> > > > > > > > > > >>>>>>> > > > > > > > >>> > > > > > > > > > >>>>>>> > > > > > > > >>> > > > > > > > > > >>>>>>> > > > > > > > >>> > > > > > > > > > >>>>>>> > > > > > > > >>> > > > > > > > > > >>>>>>> > > > > > > > >>> > > > > > > > > > >>>>>>> > > > > > > > >>> > > > > > > > > > >>>>>>> > > > > > > > >>> > > > > > > > > > >>>>>>> 6. Take your letter, and think of a country that begins with that letter. > > > > > > > >>> > > > > > > > > > >>>>>>> > > > > > > > >>> > > > > > > > > > >>>>>>> > > > > > > > >>> > > > > > > > > > >>>>>>> > > > > > > > >>> > > > > > > > > > >>>>>>> > > > > > > > >>> > > > > > > > > > >>>>>>> > > > > > > > >>> > > > > > > > > > >>>>>>> > > > > > > > >>> > > > > > > > > > >>>>>>> > > > > > > > >>> > > > > > > > > > >>>>>>> > > > > > > > >>> > > > > > > > > > >>>>>>> > > > > > > > >>> > > > > > > > > > >>>>>>> > > > > > > > >>> > > > > > > > > > >>>>>>> > > > > > > > >>> > > > > > > > > > >>>>>>> > > > > > > > >>> > > > > > > > > > >>>>>>> > > > > > > > >>> > > > > > > > > > >>>>>>> > > > > > > > >>> > > > > > > > > > >>>>>>> > > > > > > > >>> > > > > > > > > > >>>>>>> > > > > > > > >>> > > > > > > > > > >>>>>>> > > > > > > > >>> > > > > > > > > > >>>>>>> > > > > > > > >>> > > > > > > > > > >>>>>>> 7. Take the last letter in the name of that country, and think of an animal. > > > > > > > >>> > > > > > > > > > >>>>>>> > > > > > > > >>> > > > > > > > > > >>>>>>> > > > > > > > >>> > > > > > > > > > >>>>>>> > > > > > > > >>> > > > > > > > > > >>>>>>> > > > > > > > >>> > > > > > > > > > >>>>>>> > > > > > > > >>> > > > > > > > > > >>>>>>> > > > > > > > >>> > > > > > > > > > >>>>>>> > > > > > > > >>> > > > > > > > > > >>>>>>> > > > > > > > >>> > > > > > > > > > >>>>>>> > > > > > > > >>> > > > > > > > > > >>>>>>> > > > > > > > >>> > > > > > > > > > >>>>>>> > > > > > > > >>> > > > > > > > > > >>>>>>> > > > > > > > >>> > > > > > > > > > >>>>>>> > > > > > > > >>> > > > > > > > > > >>>>>>> > > > > > > > >>> > > > > > > > > > >>>>>>> > > > > > > > >>> > > > > > > > > > >>>>>>> > > > > > > > >>> > > > > > > > > > >>>>>>> > > > > > > > >>> > > > > > > > > > >>>>>>> > > > > > > > >>> > > > > > > > > > >>>>>>> 8. Now, take the last letter in the name of that animal, and think of a color. > > > > > > > >>> > > > > > > > > > >>>>>>> > > > > > > > >>> > > > > > > > > > >>>>>>> > > > > > > > >>> > > > > > > > > > >>>>>>> > > > > > > > >>> > > > > > > > > > >>>>>>> > > > > > > > >>> > > > > > > > > > >>>>>>> > > > > > > > >>> > > > > > > > > > >>>>>>> > > > > > > > >>> > > > > > > > > > >>>>>>> > > > > > > > >>> > > > > > > > > > >>>>>>> > > > > > > > >>> > > > > > > > > > >>>>>>> > > > > > > > >>> > > > > > > > > > >>>>>>> > > > > > > > >>> > > > > > > > > > >>>>>>> > > > > > > > >>> > > > > > > > > > >>>>>>> > > > > > > > >>> > > > > > > > > > >>>>>>> > > > > > > > >>> > > > > > > > > > >>>>>>> > > > > > > > >>> > > > > > > > > > >>>>>>> > > > > > > > >>> > > > > > > > > > >>>>>>> > > > > > > > >>> > > > > > > > > > >>>>>>> > > > > > > > >>> > > > > > > > > > >>>>>>> > > > > > > > >>> > > > > > > > > > >>>>>>> 9. But remember... > > > > > > > >>> > > > > > > > > > >>>>>>> > > > > > > > >>> > > > > > > > > > >>>>>>> > > > > > > > >>> > > > > > > > > > >>>>>>> > > > > > > > >>> > > > > > > > > > >>>>>>> > > > > > > > >>> > > > > > > > > > >>>>>>> > > > > > > > >>> > > > > > > > > > >>>>>>> > > > > > > > >>> > > > > > > > > > >>>>>>> > > > > > > > >>> > > > > > > > > > >>>>>>> > > > > > > > >>> > > > > > > > > > >>>>>>> > > > > > > > >>> > > > > > > > > > >>>>>>> > > > > > > > >>> > > > > > > > > > >>>>>>> > > > > > > > >>> > > > > > > > > > >>>>>>> > > > > > > > >>> > > > > > > > > > >>>>>>> > > > > > > > >>> > > > > > > > > > >>>>>>> > > > > > > > >>> > > > > > > > > > >>>>>>> > > > > > > > >>> > > > > > > > > > >>>>>>> > > > > > > > >>> > > > > > > > > > >>>>>>> > > > > > > > >>> > > > > > > > > > >>>>>>> > > > > > > > >>> > > > > > > > > > >>>>>>> > > > > > > > >>> > > > > > > > > > >>>>>>> There are no ORANGE KANGAROOS in DENMARK.

To: The Philosopher who wrote (13636)	3/2/2000 6:01:00 AM
From: Edwarda	Respond to of 62552

Two men die and go to heaven. "How'd it happen?" the first man asks the second. "I froze to death," he replies. "How about you?" "I had a heart attack. I knew my wife was cheating on me, so one day I came home early and ran up to the bedroom. She was alone, reading. I ran downstairs, but no one was hiding there. I sprinted to the attic, and just as I got there, I had a massive heart attack and died." The second man shakes his head. "That's so ironic," he says. "If you had only stopped to look in the freezer, we'd both still be alive."

To: The Philosopher who wrote (13636)	3/5/2000 3:14:00 PM
From: Edwarda	Respond to of 62552

Comprehending Engineers - Take Two ***************************** To the optimist, the glass is half full. To the pessimist, the glass is half empty. To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.

To: The Philosopher who wrote (13636)	3/5/2000 3:18:00 PM
From: Edwarda	Respond to of 62552

***************************** Comprehending Engineers-Take Three ***************************** A pastor, a doctor and an engineer were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers. The engineer fumed, "What's with these guys? We must have been waiting for 15 minutes!" The doctor chimed in, "I don't know, but I've never seen such ineptitude! "The pastor said, "Hey, here comes the greenskeeper. Let's have a word with him." [dramatic pause] "Hi George. Say, what's with that group ahead of us? They're rather slow, aren't they?" The greenskeeper replied, "Oh, yes, that's a group of blind firefighters. They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we always let them play for free anytime." The group was silent for a moment. The pastor said, "That's so sad. I think I will say a special prayer for them tonight." The doctor said, "Good idea. And I'm going to contact my ophthalmologist buddy and see if there's anything he can do for them." The engineer said, "Why can't these guys play at night?"

To: The Philosopher who wrote (13636)	3/5/2000 3:20:00 PM
From: Edwarda	Respond to of 62552

***************************** Comprehending Engineers-Take Four ***************************** There was an engineer who had an exceptional gift for fixing all things mechanical. After serving his company loyally for over 30 years, he happily retired. Several years later the company contacted him regarding a seemingly impossible problem they were having with one of their multimillion dollar machines. They had tried everything and everyone else to get the machine to work but to no avail. In desperation, they called on the retired engineer who had solved so many of their problems in the past. The engineer reluctantly took the challenge. He spent a day studying the huge machine. At the end of the day, he marked a small "x" in chalk on a particular component of the machine and stated, "This is where your problem is". The part was replaced and the machine worked perfectly again. The company received a bill for $50,000 from the engineer for his service. They demanded an itemized accounting of his charges. The engineer responded briefly: One chalk mark $1 Knowing where to put it $49,999 It was paid in full and the engineer retired again in peace.