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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Edwarda who wrote (13700)	3/5/2000 5:46:00 PM
From: John Carragher	Respond to of 62567

A lawyer married to a woman who had previously been married 12 > times. On their wedding night, they settled into the bridal suite at > their hotel and the bride said to her new groom, "Please, promise to be > gentle. I'm still a virgin." > > This puzzled the groom, since after 12 marriages, he thought that at > least one of her husbands would have been able to perform. He asked his > new bride to explain the phenomenon. She responded: > > "My first husband was a Sales Representative who spent the entire > marriage telling me, in grandiose terms, how great it was going to be. > > "My second husband was from Software Services; he was never quite > sure how it was supposed to function, but he promised he would send me > documentation. > > "My third husband was from Field Services and repeatedly said that > everything was diagnostically OK, but couldn't get the system up. > > "My fourth husband was from Educational Services, and you know the > old saying - 'Those who CAN, DO; those who can't, teach.' > > "My fifth husband was from the Telemarketing Department. He knew he > had the order, but he wasn't quite sure when he was going to be able to > deliver. > > "My sixth husband was an Engineer. He told me that he understood the > basic process but needed three years to research, implement, and design > a new state-of-the-art method. > > "My seventh husband was from Finance and Administration. He knew > how, but he just wasn't sure whether it was his job or not. > > "My eighth husband was from Standards and Regulations, and he told me > that he met the minimum standards but regulations weren't clear on how > to do it. > > "My ninth husband was a Marketing Manager. Even though he had the > product. he just wasn't sure how to position it. > > "My tenth husband was a psychiatrist. All he ever wanted to do was > talk about it. > > "My eleventh husband was a gynecologist, and all he ever wanted to > do was look at it. > > "My twelfth husband was a stamp collector, and all he ever wanted to > do was... well... God I miss him!" > > She finally smiled and turned to him. "So now I've married you, and > I'm really excited." > > "Why is that?"asked the lawyer. > > "Well, it should be obvious! You're a lawyer! I just know I'm going > to get screwed!