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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Archangel who wrote (13733)	3/9/2000 10:47:00 AM
From: Barney	Respond to of 62558

Subject: some more food for thought Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake whole relationships." Jimmy Shubert (On going to war over religion:) "You're basically killing each other to see who's got the better imaginary friend." Rich Jeni "I got kicked out of Riverdance for using my arms." Stephen Wright "And God said: 'Let there be Satan, so people don't blame everything on Me. And let there be lawyers, so people don't blame everything on Satan.'" John Wing "What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere? 'Hold my purse.'" Francois Morency "The Web brings people together because no matter what kind of a twisted sexual mutant you happen to be, you've got millions of pals out there. Type in 'Find people that have sex with goats that are on fire' and the computer will say, 'Specify type of goat.'" Rich Jeni "Luge strategy? Lie flat and try not to die." Tim Steeves "Clinton lied. A man might forget where he parks or where he lives, but he never forgets (oral sex) no matter how bad it is." Lenny Clarke "I saw a woman wearing a sweatshirt with 'Guess' on it. I said, 'Thyroid problem?'" Emo Philips "Honesty is the key to a relationship. If you can fake that, you're in." Rich Jeni "Things you'll never hear a woman say : 'My, what an attractive scrotum!'" Jeff Green "My parents saw the president they loved get shot in the head." I saw my president get head." Elon Gold "I discovered I scream the same way whether I'm about to be devoured by a Great White or if a piece of seaweed touches my foot." Kevin James "Capital punishment turns the state into a murderer. But imprisonment turns the state into a gay dungeon-master." Emo Philips "My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch." Rich Jeni "I read somewhere that 77 per cent of all the mentally ill live in poverty. Actually, I'm more intrigued by the 23 per cent who are apparently doing quite well for themselves."

To: Archangel who wrote (13733)	3/9/2000 10:49:00 AM
From: Barney	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62558

Indecision is the key to flexibility. -=#=--=#=--=#=--=#=--=#=--=#=--=#=--=#=--=#=--=#=--=#=- A gang of thieves broke into a lawyer's club by mistake. The old legal begals gave them a fight for their life and their money. The gang was very happy to escape. Outside... "It ain't so bad, Louie" one crook noted. "We got $25 between us." The boss screamed, "I warned you to stay clear of lawyers! We had $100 when we broke in dat joint!" -=#=--=#=--=#=--=#=--=#=--=#=--=#=--=#=--=#=--=#=--=#=- We have a strange and wonderful relationship... You're strange and I'm wonderful.... or could it be that I'm strange and you're wonderful?