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Non-Tech : TD Waterhouse service - appalling -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: John Hunt who wrote (48)	3/9/2000 2:09:00 PM
From: High Grader	Read Replies (2) \| Respond to of 595

"EBS Help Desk Hours" Extra BS. 10:48 phoned in to place an order, still holding... and no musak even.... uh the musak started at 11:30... must be moving up in the line. They have a new feature that says the average wait is 35 minutes (As of 8:30 according to Silicon Sam the recorded voice. )... arghhhh why don't they have Silicon Sally at least her voice is sultry. 36.1 million spent on advertising should have been spent on better musak. "I don't get no satisfaction," would be a good choice. BTW sorry if the WSJ couldn't get through on my phone guess why!!!!! Hey now, they are playing marching music... 11:40. Merry Widow Waltz now. There goes Priority Sequence Sam again. This is worse than an emergency room in the Canadian Health System. 11:40. Houston we have a problem. What is the name of that tune? Whatever happend to Scott Joplin anyway? Hey the musak quit... maybe Sam turned it off. This does not look good... but sounds better. Sounds of silence. 11:45. hmmm. The Dow is flat. I know how the Canadian Government is going to fix this. They will ban all Canadians from trading with fast brokers in the U.S. Sam turned on the musak again. Flutes and violins. 11:46. This is like being stuck in an elevator. I wonder if they will pay the chiropractor's bill for the phone kink in my neck? 11:50. Open another browser and read the SI Laughter is the best medicine thread. Need medicine. If he says "Thank you for you patience," one more time, I may not be held responsible.11:51.11:52 11:53 no musak. The band must have got through and are placing their orders. Hope it isn't a whole orchestra I will be here 'til next week. "Due to high volumes we are experiencing longer waits." Or was that weights? Hey, piano! He got his order in he sounds jaunty. Not Scott Joplin anyway. I am going to hang up at noon. 11:53. Dow is moving up a bit on the 5 minute chart. Violins. Sounds like a bunch of cats. We want Scott Joplin back! "Due to etc." 11:55. Hey ALA up 1 1/8. Are you reading this WSJ? Sorry my phone was tied up. 2 minutes and 40 seconds and I am hanging up!!!! When I grow up I am going to play the piano. I hate that flute music! "Due to etc." Sure play it again Sam. 11:59 .05 . A crescendo in the musak. I am going to go have lunch. My neck hurts. My ear is red. See yah TD Waterlogged. Just long enough to exit. Signing off 12:00 58.