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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Arctic Trader who wrote (13741)	3/10/2000 2:13:00 AM
From: Arctic Trader	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62552

A retired four-star general ran into his former orderly, also retired, in a Manhattan bar and spent the rest of the evening persuading him to come work for him as his valet. "Your duties will be exactly the same as they were in the army," the general said. "Nothing to it-you'll catch on again fast." Next morning promptly at eight o'clock, the ex-orderly entered the ex-general's bedroom, pulled open the drapes, gave the general a gentle shake, strode around the other side of the bed, spanked his new employer's wife on her bottom and said, "OK, sweetheart, it's back to the village for you."

To: Arctic Trader who wrote (13741)	3/10/2000 4:58:00 PM
From: John Carragher	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62552

=========================== A man walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender says, "That'll be four dollars." The customer pulls out a twenty-dollar bill and hands it to the bartender. "Sorry, sir, but I can't accept that." The man pulls out a ten-dollar bill. "I can't accept that, either." The guy tries a five. Same result. "What's going on here?" he asks. "I'm sorry, sir. This is a Singles Bar." ======================== A farmer is giving his blonde wife instructions before he heads to town. "That fellow from Sematol will be along this afternoon to inseminate one of the cows. I've hung a nail by the stall so you'll know which one I want him to impregnate." That afternoon, the 'Inseminator' arrives. The wife dutifully takes him out to the barn and to the stall with the nail. "This is the cow right here," she tells him. "What's the nail for?" "I guess it's to hang up your pants."