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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: John Carragher who wrote (13766)	3/13/2000 10:51:00 AM
From: Barney	Respond to of 62558

"I must say that I find television very educational. The minute somebody turns it on, I go to the library and read a book." Groucho Marx

To: John Carragher who wrote (13766)	3/13/2000 10:53:00 AM
From: Barney	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62558

This was very thought provoking....you don't have to be a Christian to appreciate the message here, and the moral of the story is something to consider; just how dedicated are you to the things you believe in? Subject: Would you run or would you stay? Imagine this happening to you. Would you run or would you stay?... One Sunday morning during service, a 2,000 member congregation was surprised to see two men enter, both covered from head to toe in black and carrying submachine guns. One of the men proclaimed, "Anyone willing to take a bullet for Christ remain where you are." Immediately, the choir fled, the deacons fled, and most of the congregation fled. Out of the 2,000, there only remained around 20. The man who had spoken took off his hood, looked at the preacher and said, "Okay Pastor, I got rid of all the hypocrites. Now you may begin your service. Have a nice day!" And the two men turned and walked out.

To: John Carragher who wrote (13766)	3/13/2000 10:56:00 AM
From: Barney	Respond to of 62558

Clinton Joke: A man walked into a cowboy bar and ordered a beer just as President Clinton appeared on the television. After a few sips, he looked up at the television and mumbled, "Now, there's the biggest horse's ass I've ever seen." A customer at the end of the bar quickly stood up, walked over to him, and decked him. A few minutes later, as the man was finishing his beer, Hillary Clinton appeared on the television. "She's a horse's ass too," the man said. This time, a customer at the other end of the bar quickly stood up, walked over to him, and knocked him off his stool. "Damn it!" the man said, climbing back up to the bar. "This must be Clinton country!" "Nope," the bartender replied. "Horse country!

To: John Carragher who wrote (13766)	3/13/2000 10:59:00 AM
From: Barney	Respond to of 62558

Jenny was married to a male chauvinist. They both worked full time, but he never did anything around the house and certainly not any housework. That, he declared, was woman's work! But one evening Jenny arrived home from work to find the children bathed, a load of wash in the washing machine and another in the dryer, dinner on the stove and a beautifully set table, complete with flowers. She was astonished, and she immediately wanted to know what was going on. It turned out that Charley, her husband, had read a magazine article that suggested working wives would be more romantically inclined if they weren't so tired from having to do all the housework, in addition to holding down a full-time job. The next day, she couldn't wait to tell her girlfriends at the office. "How did it work out?" they asked. "Well, it was a great dinner, Jenny said. "Charley even cleaned up, helped the kids with their homework, folded the laundry and put everything away." "I really enjoyed my evening." she went on to say. "But what about afterward?" her friends wanted to know. "It didn't work out," Jenny said. "Charley was too tired."

To: John Carragher who wrote (13766)	3/13/2000 11:04:00 AM
From: Barney	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62558

Subject: What's in a Name? PROFESSION.................................NAME Lawyer's daughter:..........................Sue Thief's son.................................Rob Lawyer's son................................Will Doctor's son................................Bill Meteorologist's daughter....................Haley Steam shovel operator's son.................Doug Hair Stylist's son..........................Bob Homeopathic doctor's son....................Herb Justice of the peace's daughter.............Mary Sound stage technician's son................Mike Hot-dog vendor's son........................Frank Gambler's daughter..........................Bette Exercise guru's son.........................Jim Cattle Thief's son..........................Russell Painter's son...............................Art Iron worker's son...........................Rusty TV show star's daughter.....................Emmy Movie star's son............................Oscar Barber's son................................Harry