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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Barney who wrote (13936)	3/27/2000 7:08:00 PM
From: Karen Lawrence	Read Replies (2) \| Respond to of 62550

She leaves him on the couch when the phone rings and is back in a few seconds. "Who was it?" he asked. "My husband," she replied. "I better get going," he said "Where is he?" "Relax, he'll be late...he's playing poker with you."

To: Barney who wrote (13936)	3/27/2000 7:46:00 PM
From: Peter S. Maroulis	Respond to of 62550

One day, at the end of class, little Johnny's teacher instructs the class to go home and think of a story and then conclude the moral of that story. The following day, the teacher asks for the first volunteerto tell their story. Little Suzy raises her hand. "My dad owns a farm, and every Sunday we load the chicken eggs on the truck and drive into town to sell them at the market. Well, one Sunday we hit a big bump and all the eggs flew out of the basket and onto the road." The teacher asks for the moral of the story, and little Suzy replies, "Don't keep all your eggs in one basket." Next, little Lucy speaks, "Well, my dad owns a farm too, and every weekend we take the chicken eggs and put them in an incubator. Last weekend, only 8 of the 12 eggs hatched." The teacher asks for the moral of the story, and little Lucy replies "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched." Last but not least, little Johnny speaks, "My uncle Ted fought in the Vietnam war, and his plane was shot down over enemy territory. He jumped out before it crashed with only a case of beer, a machine gun and a machete. On the way down, he drank the case of beer. Unfortunately, he landed right in the middle of 100 Vietnamese soldiers. He shot 70 of them with his machine gun, but ran out of bullets, so he pulled out his machete and killed 20 more. Then, the blade on his machete broke, so he killed the last 10 with his bare hands." The teacher looks at little Johnny with shock, and asks if there could possibly be any moral to his story. Little Johnny replies, "Don't mess with uncle Ted when he's been drinking."